How Small a Whisper

Elise's Journal

2012-01-06T15:05:00.002-07:00

January 6, 2012
You are such a big, smiley, darling girl! Your smile comes often and almost splits your face! You are often content to sit in the highchair or exersaucer and just watch the goings-on of our busy household. There's always someone doing something work watching! Often you like to be holding a toy, however, and the more interesting the better. You've already figured out how to work many of our “push-button” type toys – if you bang a certain spot, it makes a noise or lights up. Rattles are not the favorites anymore.

You are making all kinds of sounds when you babble. K-S-M-N-P-F-T consonants are common. You consistently say “Kkk-kkk” when you see the cat but you also say the same thing to your siblings, so I am not sure if I can call it a first word yet. But it's so funny because you still love your pacifier, so sometimes you'll be sucking contentedly away and I'll be thinking that you're sooo quiet. Then I pop the paci out and boy do you have a lot of loud things to say!

We are down to nursing just in the morning when you first wake up. Your choice, not mine. I would have liked to do more, longer, but you have discovered real food and don't feel much need for boring old breastmilk. You eat a ton! And so far you've liked everything! I've given you scrambled eggs, french toast, waffles, soup, yogurt, pizza, potatoes, broccoli, beans, rice, just about anything you can manage without teeth. You are also rocking the sippy cup of formula.

You are a very strong sitter and can push yourself backwards all the way across the tile floor, but you are still not crawling. You rock forward on your hands a lot but have yet to get your knees under you. It's just as well since my life is going to become a lot harder when you become mobile. You put EVERYTHING in your mouth – including sticks, rocks, stickers, tape, legos – so I am nervous about this next stage! Your siblings are not the tidiest creatures in the world and it is hard for me to keep things picked up!

We spent Thanksgiving in Minnesota. One day was at Grandma Drewry's, one day was the Flanegan celebration and one day Grandma Kim took us to the aquarium in the Mall of America. Then the rest of the time was charming your grandparents and anyone else who stopped by. I'm so glad we were able to see everyone, especially Great Grandpa Ed, because he passed away on Christmas Day.

We took the week before Christmas off of school and did lots of fun Christmasy things: caroling at a nursing home with our friends from church (Fagreys, Jacobs and Kennedys), decorating sugar cookies with cousins, and making gingerbread houses with Grace and Nadya Belcher. Christmas Day you got a teaset with a singing teapot and a baby doll (whom we named “Maggie”). You seemed quite pleased – when you “opened” the dollie, you spent about a minute squealing and hitting her head.

Then after Christmas Daddy left for MN again to be with his family and you and I flew out a few days later for Grandpa Ed's funeral. It was special to travel just with you and have a few days of holding you non-stop. You weren't sure about going to others so I got a lot of snuggle time. It was good to have you there to help people smile. I'm glad you were able to meet Grandpa Ed three separate times this past year, so though you won't remember him we have pictures of you two together.

Matthew's Journal

2012-01-06T15:05:00.001-07:00

January 6, 2012
Matthew, you have come a long way in the last couple of months. Now you consistently stay on the futon during rest time, generally paging through a stack of books. A couple of times you've been tired enough to fall over asleep with a book on your lap but generally you stay awake the whole hour. If I know you're extra tired I make you lay down for ten minutes before I bring you books and hope you'll fall asleep! It makes such a difference for me to have consistent quiet time again – we are both saner for it.

You've also basically potty-trained yourself since Christmas. You decided you didn't like how diapers felt anymore so you wanted to wear underwear instead. And you're particular enough that you don't want to get them wet or dirty. So I just have you go to the bathroom every few hours and that has been enough to basically eliminate accidents. Sometimes I find you on the toilet without expecting it!

You also amaze me with your “make-believe” skills. You sit at the meal-table oblivious to what everyone else is saying while you conduct a full drama starring your crackers, apples or whatever. They talk to each other, but in the voice of you as author. So, “'Don't jump!' said the mama.” or “'I'm tired and want to go to bed,' said the baby.” This extends beyond mealtime to almost any object you encounter. You little “guys” and your trucks get endless use as all you have to do is spot something to play with before your imagination is engaged. Your powers of focus are amazing for two (and a great blessing to this mama!).

Your favorite day is Thursday, when Aunt Natalie picks you up and takes you to storytime at the library with cousin Beckham. Then you go back to her house and play and have lunch. He has gotten you “into” superheroes and now you love to run around the house in costume – usually Superman. You also like to wear shorts and short sleeve shirts (yes, in January) because they are your “running clothes.”

We spent Thanksgiving in Minnesota. One day was at Grandma Drewry's, one day was the Flanegan celebration and one day Grandma Kim took us to the aquarium in the Mall of America. You got to ride one kiddie ride. Then the rest of the time was chilling out with Wii and movies and playing with Westley's old trucks. I'm so glad we were able to see everyone, especially Great Grandpa Ed, because he passed away on Christmas Day.

We took the week before Christmas off of school and did lots of fun Christmasy things: caroling at a nursing home with our friends from church (Fagreys, Jacobs and Kennedys), decorating sugar cookies with cousins, and making gingerbread houses with Grace and Nadya Belcher. Christmas Day you got three big Tonka-style trucks, some superhero action figures, puzzles, “preschool toys,” and books. You seemed quite pleased.

Then after Christmas Daddy left for MN again to be with his family and Elise and I flew out a few days later for Grandpa Ed's funeral. You, Abby and Isaac stayed with Papa and Grammie. You got to sleepover at their house and they took you to Chuck E Cheese and the Storybook Island lights display. We are so blessed to have them nearby.

Abby's Journal

2012-01-05T15:34:00.001-07:00

January 5, 2012
It is a beautiful day so I am letting you and Isaac do the coveted “skip my nap” activity. This works well on beautiful days because I tell you that you have to stay outside in order to be allowed to skip your nap. You took crayons out and colored for a while but just now I took out popsicles (yes, in January!) and you were in the sandbox. We played at the park earlier and you were hot in your long sleeves, leggings and skirt so now you are in shorts and a short sleeve shirt!

Last night you had your first gymnastics class. You wanted to give it a try even though it means taking a break from ballet. Really you wanted to do both but I made you choose. It was very tempting to me to push you towards ballet (because that's what I did), especially since you had a hard time making a choice, but I think I stayed admirably neutral. I hope you enjoy it – it was clear last night that you are very flexible compared to many of your classmates.

You absolutely adore the read-aloud portion of our school work (especially the Little House on the Prairie series) but phonics and handwriting have been meeting with a lot of resistance. I have such a hard time knowing whether to push you – since I think it's mostly a battle of the wills – or to pull back because you're actually not quite ready. You are more than capable but for whatever reason not excited about it. I am a blessed woman to be able to worry about such trifles.

We spent Thanksgiving in Minnesota. One day was at Grandma Drewry's, one day was the Flanegan celebration and one day Grandma Kim took us to the aquarium in the Mall of America. You got to ride one little ride too. Then the rest of the time was chilling out with Wii and movies and playing with Breanna's old Barbies. I'm so glad we were able to see everyone, especially Great Grandpa Ed, because he passed away on Christmas Day.

We celebrated your birthday with yet another “princess tea party”. You really seem to love all the girly things – pretty cupcakes, butterfly magnet crafts, pb and j sandwiches cut with cookie cutters, and china teacups. You got a Ken doll (which you really wanted after playing with Breanna's Barbies) and a scooter from me and Daddy.

We took the week before Christmas off of school and did lots of fun Christmasy things: caroling at a nursing home with our friends from church (Fagreys, Jacobs and Kennedys), decorating sugar cookies with cousins, and making gingerbread houses with Grace and Nadya Belcher. Christmas Day you got lots of Barbie things (including a pink car), some Legos, and some books, crafts and games. You actually wanted to stop opening presents after about two so that you could go play with them!

Then after Christmas Daddy left for MN again to be with his family and Elise and I flew out a few days later for Grandpa Ed's funeral. You, Isaac and Matthew stayed with Papa and Grammie. You got to sleepover at their house and they took you to Chuck E Cheese and the Storybook Island lights display. We are so blessed to have them nearby.

Isaac's Journal

2012-01-05T15:04:00.000-07:00

January 5, 2012

Today it is nearly seventy degrees. We quickly completed our school work then met Natalie, Roman and Beckham at the park. Now you and Abby are playing outside together instead of taking a nap. My only stipulation is that you have to STAY outside. I saw you carving a “lightsaber” out of a stick. You shave all the bark off of one end then color it blue or green with a crayon. I love these expressions of creativity! The pocket knife was a reward for finishing the “Alpha Phonics” book in November. You also received your own “big Bible”.

You are truly a good reader now. You'll attempt nearly anything though sometimes you get frustrated and give up. Anything that is an “early reader” type of book is a good bet – up to about a 3rd grade level. You've also been doing a lot of writing on your own. We haven't even worked on spelling yet, so that leaves a lot to be desired, but I love the Bible book you've been writing. “GOD'S WORD I HAV MADE THIS BOOK MY NAME iS ISAAC I AM 6.” The next page (CHAPTR 1) reads, “GOD iS THE BEST KING HE TRND THE DRKNIS INTO LIGHT HE MADE THE PLANITS HE MADE THe URTH He MADE SPASE AND MOSTE Of OL HE MADE YOU” It's just too sweet not to copy some more, so here's CHAPTR 2: “GOD MADE YOU iN HIS OWNE IMIj I LOVE GOD RILEE MUCH DOO YOU”

The one snow we've had so far was on a weekend, so you had tons of fun sledding and snowboarding with Dad. You and Abby are both big enough now that I try to send you outside every day unless it's truly miserable weather. You are still sooo active that you literally bounce on and climb on everything in the house if you don't get a chance to run around. We've been “boot skating” a few times at the frozen pond down the road. And we just bought the acre of land behind our house and you're hoping Dad will make you a zipline! In any case it would be great for you to have that space if you would actually go on the land. But of course, you hate being by yourself so if Abby won't go (and she won't), you won't either.

We spent Thanksgiving in Minnesota. One day was at Grandma Drewry's, one day was the Flanegan celebration and one day Grandma Kim took us to the aquarium in the Mall of America. You got to ride one roller coaster. Then the rest of the time was chilling out with Wii and movies and running around outside with Westley and Hayden and Nerf Guns. I'm so glad we were able to see everyone, especially your namesake, Great Grandpa Ed, because he passed away on Christmas Day.

We took the week before Christmas off of school and did lots of fun Christmasy things: caroling at a nursing home with our friends from church (Fagreys, Jacobs and Kennedys), decorating sugar cookies with cousins, and making gingerbread houses with Grace and Nadya Belcher. Christmas Day you got three remote control trucks, lots of Legos, and some books, crafts and games. You seemed quite pleased.

Then after Christmas Daddy left for MN again to be with his family and Elise and I flew out a few days later for Grandpa Ed's funeral. You, Abby and Matthew stayed with Papa and Grammie. You got to sleepover at their house and they took you to Chuck E Cheese and the Storybook Island lights display. We are so blessed to have them nearby.

Elise's Journal

2011-10-23T22:03:00.001-06:00

August 31, 2011

You are getting big – with giant pudgy thighs and impossibly chubby cheeks and such wide blue eyes that everyone stops to comment on “such a beautiful baby” when we're in public. You are almost sitting up – still tipping too far forward though. I found a new baby seat called a “bumbo” at the thrift store. It allows you to sit upright but fully supported – kind of fun to have something new for you!

You are getting very grabby. It's hard to hold you on my lap while I read to the other kids because you are always trying to grab the book away. And when we eat you're grabbing at my food. (and WATCHING – I think you really want it. Must be time to start solids soon.) One time you got a fistful of tilapia off of my plate and into your mouth before I caught you! (I got it out of your mouth though.) You're also very interested in toys – working very hard to get whatever is within reach.

You are my best tummy-time baby yet. You don't mind being on your tummy a bit – it's amazing to me how you hold up your arms, legs and head at the same time. It looks like you're flying! You love it when Isaac, Abby or Matthew get down on the floor with you. They all call you Ellie almost exclusively. I alternate between Ellie and Elise. At the doctor's office they keep calling you Elsie.

A month ago we went on vacation: camping in the Tetons followed by a family reunion in Estes Park, CO. You slept in such a variety of “beds”: a drawer in a motel room, a portable crib, and even a suitcase in the tent. The amazing thing is that you slept so well everywhere! One night camping was especially cold so I had you wrapped up like a mummy (except for your face of course). You slept so soundly that I kept putting my hand on you in the night to make sure you were fine.

You were a great traveler. You were happy in the carseat, though you did get a bit fussy at the end of a full day of driving. Sometimes I held your hand and that would calm you almost immediately. If you were hungry and it wasn't a good stopping-time, I fed you a bottle while you stayed safely strapped in! You were so flexible – just napping in the Moby wrap wherever we went and letting all sorts of people hold you and coo at you.

Now we're starting school and I'm finding that while I love your flexibility, I'm ready to have you on a bit more of a schedule. All of this moving around and traveling this summer haven't been very conducive to that; as a result, you generally take four or five short naps every day instead of two longer ones. I'm very happy with your sleep at night though – you go down around eight, I “dream-feed” you at 10:30, then you usually nurse between 5:30 and 6:30 and go back to sleep until 7:30 or 8am! No complaints!

I love holding you. Sometimes I find you just looking up at me with those big blue eyes while you are in my arms and it just melts my heart.

October 23, 2011

You are loving solid foods – everything I've tried so far you just gobble down! I am still nursing you about four times a day. Surprisingly, you are not quite sitting up yet. Probably because I don't get a lot of opportunity to practice with you. Twice in October you went on adult trips and were good as gold – once to Denver with me, Grammie and your aunties and once on a “get-away” for me and your Daddy just over night at a hotel. You just fell asleep in your carseat at restaurants and chilled in the wrap the rest of the time. Amazing! (Everyone said so, not just me!) I thought that I'd do something different this time and describe your relationships with each person in our family.

Daddy. He loves you. Ever since we discovered (after he was gone so much this summer) that you weren't happy to go to him, he has been working hard to win your heart back. I think he's got it now – you smile and reach for him often, and he coos to you and kisses you just as much.

Me. You are so happy when you are with me. Often all I have to do is hold your hand and you go from crying hard to completely calm. It is so wonderful to know that I can meet your needs. I think it's going to be easy for you to wrap me around your finger.

Isaac. He can really make you laugh with his crazy antics – and he works hard to make you laugh. He also loves to carry you around and talk to you in a very loud and annoying baby babble!

Abby. She helps to take care of you – feeding you baby food, changing diapers, playing with you when I need to set you down for a few minutes. Just tonight she helped you feel comfortable in the bath by showing you how to splash gently.

Matthew. He is very gentle and affectionate with you. He calls you “E-Weese” and you watch his every move.

Matthew's Journal

2011-10-23T21:53:00.002-06:00

August 31, 2011

Hallelujah you're napping again! Whatever that weird phase was seems to be over. Now you are sleeping 8pm-7am at night AND napping two hours in the afternoon. The result is a much happier Matthew AND a much happier mama. I am so thankful!

You are getting to be a big helper around the house. You can put your clothes in the hamper and throw your diapers away, of course, but you also do the wastebaskets every day and you've taken on putting away the clean silverware. It's a good “matching” exercise for you though I get the feeling it doesn't challenge you a bit.

I told you that you were starting preschool today and you were quite excited. While the other kids did school you played with a Playmobil toy at the table nearby. You watched the Spanish video with us and “listened” to me read aloud while climbing and running around. I hope we can continue to work it out so that you can feel included and important while still allowing me to work with the other kids.

A month ago we went on a big family road trip: first camping in the Tetons with Papa's family followed by a family reunion in Estes Park, CO with Grandpa Daryl's family. You did great the whole time. You slept in – even in the tent. You rode nicely in the car (you had your own little movie screen to watch Curious George – your favorite). The only trouble was getting you to sit in the high chair for meals. Once you put your mind to resisting something, you don't give up easily.

One day we spent driving through Yellowstone. We stopped by the lake to skip rocks, then hiked down to the Lower Falls (almost gave your daddy a heart attack having you near such a drop-off). We stopped by the paint pots and saw Old Faithful. The funniest was when we asked you near one of the pots of boiling mud, “What is that, Matthew?” You replied, “That is for the buffaloes to cook their marshmallows.”

You are so imaginative! You are my first child to actually play with little people and trucks and such at such a young age. You'll put together a little playset with a couple “guys” and some cars then drive them around. They even talk to each other and have names like “Beckham” or “Papa”. You'll have a whole story line, “He is going to Wynoming and then he will have bananas for his breakfast.”

You are a very funny eater – ever since you were a baby, actually. But now you will utterly refuse certain foods on one day and inhale the same thing the next day. If you had your way you wouldn't eat meals at all – you would just nibble all day long. When you do eat meals your preference is to eat just the one thing you like best. For example, you'd eat all your eggs and beg for more before touching your toast or banana.

Anyway, your dimpled smile and funny little voice - “I not Maffew, I Matt-Matt” are just so darling. I can't ignore outright disobedience but I sure can overlook a lot because you're just so cute the rest of the time.

October 23, 2011

Wow – we've had an intense month together, Matthew. We moved you to a bunk bed so that Elise could have the crib. After a few weeks of doing very well, you decided not to stay in your bed at naptime anymore! You got a lot of spankings and cried a lot, I asked for a lot of advice and cried a lot. I am seeing less resistance (finally! After a month of consistent discipline and getting out of your bed up to a hundred times in a day) and am hopeful you are starting to understand that I really DO expect you to stay on the bed (if not to nap, at least for a quiet time!) Anyway, I thought that for something different this time I would describe your relationships with each member of our family.

Dad. You adore your Daddy. You run to greet him when he gets home from work and you are always on his lap when he's at the computer, at his side when he's playing piano and in his way (sort of) when he's trying to work on the house! Just today he was putting up some siding and you were insisting that it was “my air compressor” and “working”. You kept asking when it would be time to use the drill and whether Daddy was ready for the nail gun. Nothing makes you happier than a little one on one attention from him and nothing makes you sadder than a sharp word from him.

Me. The intense determination of your personality can be hard for me – especially with you not napping in the middle of the day – by the end of the day both of our fuses are short. But I adore snuggling you, reading you Curious George (over and over and over), having you in the kitchen “helping” me cook (the other day I found a candle and a teapot full of water in the fridge – you've also been known to stir boiling pots of water and man the toaster). Our favorite little game is when you're grumpy and I ask you, “Where's your smile?” and we point to all the different parts of your face until we've “found” it.

Isaac. You adore Isaac. You want to be “big like Isaac.” The whole time we were at his soccer games you would be kicking a ball on the sidelines, and you're always carrying a ball around asking him to play baseball with you. That said, you often clash too. You want things just so, Isaac refuses, you hit and scream, Isaac hits and tattles. . . it can degenerate quickly. But I think you will be just what the other needs as you grow older.

Abby. You adore Abby. You two play VERY well together. Often while Isaac does his additional “first grade” work you and Abby are left to your own devices. Sometimes you end up dressed in a tutu, playing Barbies, or being the “baby” to her “mommy” but you always have fun. You guys also often help each other with chores. She has more chores than you so I think she's got the better end of the deal.

Elise. You are very sweet to Elise. I was worried that you would not be gentle but you always are and you've never hurt her. I am grateful! She watches you closely and I pray that you two will be great friends one day. You call her “my baby E-WEESE.”

Abby's Journal

2011-10-23T21:36:00.002-06:00

September 1, 2011

It was a long summer for Mama, but I don't think it was long enough for you! Daddy was working a lot of 85 hour weeks and we were doing a lot of transitioning from one house to the other. I was pleased with how well you handled it, but we have had some attitude problems cropping up. You were born with a bit of my bossy tendencies and it's important that you realize that you can't boss around Dad and Mom! It's so interesting how you can go from sweet as sugar, “I just can't wait to have Abby/Mommy time soon!” to complete obstinance, “No I WON'T make my bed!”

A month ago we went on a big family road trip: first camping in the Tetons with Papa's family followed by a family reunion in Estes Park, CO with Grandpa Daryl's family. You did great the whole time, especially charming Grandpa Paul while camping. You also had a lot of fun with your cousins Emily and Alyssa. We went swimming several times, hiking, mini-golfing, bowling, and to the Denver Zoo. I think my favorite day was when we played for hours in Jackson Lake near our campsite. You and Isaac (and second cousin Ethan) had nets and spent hours catching minnows. It was so beautiful and relaxing and delightful for me to see you so fully engaged with nature.

One day we spent driving through Yellowstone. We stopped by the lake to skip rocks, then hiked down to the Lower Falls (almost gave your daddy a heart attack having you near such a drop-off). We stopped by the paint pots and saw Old Faithful. You really did not like the stinky sulfur smells! But you told everyone about looking down at a rainbow (near the waterfall).

Yesterday we started school – kindergarten for you! Though you are only four and a half, Daddy and I feel that you are more than ready. However, we won't officially register you with the state yet. Your school consists of listening to Bible, poetry and Little House books together with Isaac and Matthew. Then you do phonics with me and handwriting independently. Finally, we all watch a Spanish video together. So far you are so excited and loving it – wishing it took longer than an hour I think.
You are a stuff lover – every little item you encounter is your most “special thing I ever had.” It's hard for your clutter-buster mother! I am trying to find the balance between forcing you to throw away trash (broken toys, holey socks, or even things like packaging materials) and allowing you to keep some things. I don't want it to become a control issue, but I do need you to realize that practically speaking we can't keep everything in a 1600 square foot house with six people living in it! I am glad you treasure things (every bug you find in the house is lovingly transported outdoors – never squashed) but we need to work on defining what is worth treasuring!

October 23, 2011

You are doing wonderfully well. Kindergarten is lovely and we have had a gorgeous fall with lots of wonderful outside time. Homeschool coop is in full swing and you have begin ballet lessons again (dancing through the house “Tondu, passe, tondu, passe”). I thought that this time I would do something a little different and describe your relationships with the others in our family.

Dad. You love your daddy dearly. He calls you Babycakes and you enjoy it very much. Often you'll snuggle on his lap and say “My daddy.” And you always insist on multiple kisses and hugs before he leaves for work in the morning. When Daddy says it's time to wrestle, you get right in on the fun. He's quick to tell you how pretty you are and quick to tease you too. Then you respond with a classic, “Daaaadddyyyyy!”

Me. I love spending time with you and you very obviously crave my attention (I wish I had more time to give you!). You are always begging me to go on a date with you or play dolls or Barbies or house or restaurant. We have begun going on regular dates – once a month or so to get tea at Bully Blends or breakfast at the donut shop. I try to give you lots of hugs and stories and my full attention when you tell me things. However, playing dolls together only happens for a half hour or so maybe once a week. I do feel bad about that.

Isaac. You guys have a lot of fun together, especially when no other friends are around – even if Veronnika is over you and Isaac will battle for her attention and affection. But when it's just our family, you and Isaac can play together for hours. You love to color and paint and you have a surprisingly commanding way of getting Isaac to play princesses or Barbies with you. You also laugh at each other's silly jokes and potty talk.

Matthew. He adores you. Recently you invented a game where you were the Mommy Hawk, Matthew was the Baby Hawk and Isaac was a Lemur. So now Matthew goes around calling you Mommy Hawk and calling me Grandma. You are also very good at getting him to help you with your chores! I often find him “helping” you dust or sort laundry.

Elise. You adore her. Hopefully she will grow up to be the doll-playing companion that I am not. You constantly ask to hold her, play with her, hug and kiss her. You feed her baby food and change her diapers. Her face lights up when she sees you!

Isaac's Journal

2011-10-23T21:19:00.001-06:00

September 1, 2011

Well, we started school yesterday and you are so proud to be in first grade. I can tell you feel so BIG about it, and you love it that you have to do some school with me that “Abby's not big enough for”. Our school day so far consists of reading all together: Bible, poetry, Little House. Then you do phonics with me and handwriting independently. Next we all watch a Spanish video together. Finally I do your history, literature or geography reading (from Ambleside Online) with you and set you up with math. Next week we will add in nature study, art and music. You seem to enjoy it and wish that it took longer than an hour and a half!

You're also playing soccer now. You haven't wanted to for the last several seasons, but this year you wanted to. I think you really like it – playing hard even in the heat and scoring several goals each game. You seem to have a sense of where the ball is headed so that you can anticipate it. You are just so strong and athletic.

A month ago we went on a big family road trip: first camping in the Tetons with Papa's family followed by a family reunion in Estes Park, CO with Grandpa Daryl's family. You did great the whole time, especially having fun with my second cousin Ethan (9). Papa helped you guys make bows and arrows out of sticks, so you spent a lot of time “hunting”. We went swimming several times, hiking, mini-golfing, bowling, and to the Denver Zoo.

I think my favorite day was when we played for hours in Jackson Lake near our campsite. You and Abby and Ethan had nets and spent hours catching minnows. It was so beautiful and relaxing and delightful for me to see you so fully engaged with nature. Another day we spent driving through Yellowstone. We stopped by the lake to skip rocks, then hiked down to the Lower Falls (almost gave your daddy a heart attack having you near such a drop-off). We stopped by the paint pots and saw Old Faithful.

You have been very responsible – quickly and cheerfully doing your chores each morning and being quick to listen. You've spent a lot of time playing with Everett – and Matthew too. He follows you around like a devoted puppy. We've been playing Skip-bo a lot too, gearing up for a trip to Minnesota for Labor Day.

October 23, 2011

You're still a shining star first grader – so enthusiastically and attentively completing all your lessons – sometimes doing more than I require! Homeschool coop is in full swing and you have begun gymnastics again. I thought that this time I would do something a little different and describe your relationships with the others in our family.

Dad. You love to be with him, want to be like him. Sometimes you say you think you'll be a chemical engineer. You like to play the djembe drum while he plays piano and you're never happier than when you'retagging along with him to the dump or hardware store. Sometimes you act babyish (just can't hide those emotions!) and it frustrates Dad, then you withdraw from his “being mean to you” (speaking sharply). Then he feels bad about it and takes you along to Menards and all is well again. You guys also love to laugh together – telling jokes and playing word games.

Me. I love being with you, Isaac. My favorite part of relating to you is your vivid perception of your own need for Jesus and the chances I get to point you to Christ. A wonderful recent example: you were frustrated by the way you'd been dawdling over your chores and exclaimed, “I am just the worst person in the world!” I said, “Do you know who else said that? The Apostle Paul. And God used him to tell people all over the world about Jesus!” Sometimes you are sweet and vulnerable, sometimes mature and mischievous. I enjoy you more than I thought possible.

Abby. When there are other friends around, Abby is on the back burner. But when she's your only option, you two get along well. We just worked together to create an “art center” in the playroom and you two have already spent hours there painting and crafting. She can also pretty easily talk you to into playing Barbies or princesses with her. I've also caught you two making up songs together recently. But sometimes in the back seat of the van, while I'm driving and you two are next to each other . . . grr – you really pick at each other!

Matthew. He adores you and longs to be “big like Isaac”. You read books to him for nearly twenty minutes the other morning. He follows you around with balls begging you to play with him. Your reaction ranges from “Mom, Matthew's being annoying, please make him go away,” to “Sure, Matt-Matt, let's play,” to “Mom, Matthew ALWAYS plays with Abby and he NEVER wants to play with me.”

Elise. She brings out a very special, tender side of you. You often beg to hold her, carrying her around and plopping her gently down. You help feed her baby food and your silly antics can make her laugh like no one else can. You talk to her almost exclusively in some very strange dialect of loud baby babble.

Isaac's Journal

2011-08-31T14:01:00.001-06:00

May 13, 2011
Your baby sister Elise Kathryn is one month old today! Just a few minutes ago you kissed her and whispered to her, “I'm glad you're part of our family!”. That really characterizes your attitude toward her – you seem to be old enough to really cherish how tiny and sweet and cute she is. You are always offering to hold her, or leaning over her giving kisses and whispers. It is so fun to see such a tender side of you – because you are often anything but!

Formal school has been somewhat on hold, but thankfully the weather is nicer so you have been able to play outside and stay busy. The neighbor boy has come over quite a bit. He tends to be a bit rough and you guys have a fair amount of conflict, but he is willing to play soccer or baseball with you (unlike Abby) so you still like him to come. You've also really been clicking with Daniel at church – he's just a bit younger than you but very fun and sweet.

Last weekend was your big exciting birthday party (six years old!). You chose to invite your cousins to the WaTiki waterpark. It was fun because you are tall enough now to reach bottom in most of the pools (not to mention you are a decent swimmer), so you and Christian got to do the slides by yourselves! Afterwards you told me you wished you could LIVE at WaTiki. You asked for fried chicken and biscuits for supper, and your favorite gifts were a pogo stick and cowboy boots (to replace your much-loved-and-worn-out pair).

Another gift was a knights and castle Lego set. Although I sat next to you and answered questions while you built it, you read the (pictorial) directions and assembled it yourself! You've also started reading labels, signs, and captions for yourself, along with a few books “just for fun”. We watched some family videos of you at one, two and three years old. You were so adorable! But it is so fun to see you grow and “come into your own” as well!

Tomorrow is your first baseball game. Daddy said that you were the best player at the first practice (he didn't tell you that though). Apparently you hit the ball off of the tee all the way to the fence! And were throwing really hard. It's fun for me to hear, because you and I have been playing backyard whiffle ball together since you were two! At track and field day you placed fourth and fifth in your races but second in the softball throw! It will be fun to see if you really enjoy baseball the way Daddy did as a boy.

Elise's Journal

2011-07-06T12:48:00.001-06:00

June 29, 2011
What a strange summer we've had so far! After several months of commuting several days a week to Upton, Wyoming (for a plant start-up), Daddy got word that they needed him there full time for 6-7 weeks. Then they put him on six day a week night shift! We decided to bring the whole family to Wyoming so that we'd be able to see him sometimes. So we are renting a little house in Newcastle.

In the mornings I try to keep you all very quiet; we eat breakfast then go for a walk so Daddy can sleep. Then we get to spend 9:30-12:30 in the morning with him. We've been having fun trying out new playgrounds, bike paths, and library. You have done so well with all of the disruption – sleeping equally well in Newcastle or Rapid City with nary a fuss on the drive between the two (which we've done many times already). I am so thankful that God gave you to us for this season! It has been difficult for Mama, yet you are just a source of pure joy!

Last week we really mixed it up and spent two days near Valentine, Nebraska. My high school friend was visiting her childhood home (a ranch!) so Natalie and the cousins caravaned with us to see my friend Joye and her four children. Between all of us (plus Joye's brother) we had thirteen children seven and under! It rained much of the time, but you just snuggled into the wrap, oblivious to all the craziness. The night we slept there was spent with Natalie, me and all seven cousins in one bedroom! Memories for sure.

I kept waiting for you to wake up enough to get colicky or crabby or difficult, but it hasn't happened. I keep pinching myself to make sure it's real. You truly are EASY and I am so grateful. I felt kind of bad asking God for an easy baby but He truly knew what we needed and you have been his minister of blessing to me!

You are such a good nurser – about three and a half hours between feedings now and still once at night. You are only crabby if you are hungry or tired, but since you nurse so predictably, I always know which one it is. If you're tired, I lay you in your bed (with your beloved paci) and you fall asleep. You even “drowse” in your bouncy seat or stroller many times. It amazes me you can fall asleep with so much going on around you.

You are starting to discover your voice. Your little coos and smiles charm me to tears. I feel like I could spend all day just looking at you! I love being your mama, little Elise.

Matthew's Journal

2011-07-06T12:47:00.004-06:00

June 29, 2011
What a strange summer we've had so far! After several months of commuting several days a week to Upton, Wyoming (for a plant start-up), Daddy got word that they needed him there full time for 6-7 weeks. Then they put him on six day a week night shift! We decided to bring the whole family to Wyoming so that we'd be able to see him sometimes. So we are renting a little house in Newcastle.

In the mornings I try to keep you all very quiet (not that you know the meaning of the word): we eat breakfast then go for a walk so Daddy can sleep. Then we get to spend 9:30-12:30 in the morning with him. We've been having fun trying out new playgrounds, bike paths, and library. It's getting pretty hot and there's no a/c in the house, so I bought you guys a little wading pool and squirt guns to use in the yard. The a/c is broken on the van too, so I was amazed at how well you all have done with the 1.5 hour commute. We've done fun things on the way – ice cream in Custer, a tour at Jewel Cave, stops at Old MacDonald's Farm – to keep it interesting. But no doubt it's been a little hard to live two places! I'm thankful that you sleep through the night wherever you are, though you continue to wake up early and/or skip naps. You've also experimented with getting out of the port-a-crib in Newcastle, so that has been lots of fun. At least you stopped at twelve times in a row (your brother went past fifty).

Last week we really mixed it up and spent two days near Valentine, Nebraska. My high school friend was visiting her childhood home (a ranch!) so Natalie and the cousins caravaned with us to see my friend Joye and her four children. Between all of us (plus Joye's brother) we had thirteen children seven and under! It rained much of the time, but you still got to swim in a waterfall the first day! Actually, the other kids swam and you shivered and whined on the side. The second day we wore trash bags for ponchos while alternating between huddling by the fire and getting towed on a sled by the four-wheeler. You really liked that! The night we slept there was spent with Natalie, me and all seven cousins in one bedroom! Memories for sure.

Sometimes I wonder if you will be a runner someday. Most walks I have to confine you to the stroller because you'll say, “I wanna run, Mama!” and then you do. You set an impressive pace yet it's very measured and you're able to keep it up for a long time. Last night while the big kids were in VBS, you and I walked on the track at the high school and you just RAN. I felt like maybe I was seeing the future? Yet everyone is so convinced that you'll be an engineer (mechanical?) You are very taken with trucks, motorcycles and tools. The other day you watched a track hoe digging for nearly half an hour. Whenever you find something with screws in it, you fetch a screwdriver, convinced that if you could only unscrew it, you could put batteries in it and it would do something cool!

I just heard you repeatedly asking Dad for something (after he had already said no) and I was reminded of the story in the Bible where the woman gets what she wants just because she asked the judge SO MANY TIMES that he got annoyed and gave in. You are SO determined to get your way. May God use your persistence for his glory – may you wrestle with Him and so know him better than I ever will.

Abby's Journal

2011-07-06T12:47:00.003-06:00

June 29, 2011
What a strange summer we've had so far! After several months of commuting several days a week to Upton, Wyoming (for a plant start-up), Daddy got word that they needed him there full time for 6-7 weeks. Then they put him on six day a week night shift! We decided to bring the whole family to Wyoming so that we'd be able to see him sometimes. So we are renting a little house in Newcastle.

In the mornings I try to keep you all very quiet; we eat breakfast then go for a walk so Daddy can sleep. Then we get to spend 9:30-12:30 in the morning with him. We've been having fun trying out new playgrounds, bike paths, and library. It's getting pretty hot and there's no a/c in the house, so I bought you guys a little wading pool and squirt guns to use in the yard. You're also doing VBS this week, which seems to be a hit. The a/c is broken on the van too, so I was amazed at how well you all have done with the 1.5 hour commute. We've done fun things on the way – ice cream in Custer, a tour at Jewel Cave, stops at Old MacDonald's Farm – to keep it interesting. But no doubt it's been a little hard to live two places! Sometimes you ask me “Are we in Wyoming or Rapid City?”

Last week we really mixed it up and spent two days near Valentine, Nebraska. My high school friend was visiting her childhood home (a ranch!) so Natalie and the cousins caravaned with us to see my friend Joye and her four children. Between all of us (plus Joye's brother) we had thirteen children seven and under! It rained much of the time, but you still got to swim in a waterfall the first day! The second day we wore trash bags for ponchos while alternating between huddling by the fire and getting towed on a sled by the four-wheeler. The night we slept there was spent with Natalie, me and all seven cousins in one bedroom! Memories for sure.

You did so great in your ballet recital. You were a “pear” in the “Very Hungry Caterpillar”. The whole ballet was over an hour and a half long, yet you were the only dancer to “steal the show” by generating an uproar of laughter throughout the whole crowd (of several thousand!). You pranced onto the stage – apparently determined to own your moment. Every movement was TO THE MAX and as your classmates tiptoed and stumbled through the motions you acted with CONFIDENCE! Finally when you did a series of sweeping arabesques followed by a double pirouette, it was just too much and everyone started laughing! I'm so glad we got the DVD! Grandma B even got to see you dance because she came for a week to see baby Elise.

You are a very good big sister – so sweet and helpful with Elise and always trying to play with Matthew and calm him down. But you and Isaac argue a LOT. It drives me crazy – but I think you just think the birth order isn't what it should be. In your mind you were MEANT to be the oldest. And it's Isaac's problem if he doesn't like your ideas.

You've started riding your bike on just two wheels. You're still a little tippy and I have to help you get started, but you're getting the hang of it. You're so good about just trying again! You and Veronnika are inseperable. You spend time in the bathroom every morning brushing your hair and requesting lip gloss. The times I let you use your make-up set, you emerge from the bathroom with a face coated in purple and pink goo. It's pretty funny.

Isaac's Journal

2011-07-06T12:45:00.002-06:00

June 29, 2011

What a strange summer we've had so far! After several months of commuting several days a week to Upton, Wyoming (for a plant start-up), Daddy got word that they needed him there full time for 6-7 weeks. Then they put him on six day a week night shift! We decided to bring the whole family to Wyoming so that we'd be able to see him sometimes. So we are renting a little house in Newcastle.

In the mornings I try to keep you all very quiet; we eat breakfast then go for a walk so Daddy can sleep. Then we get to spend 9:30-12:30 in the morning with him. We've been having fun trying out new playgrounds, bike paths, and library. It's getting pretty hot and there's no a/c in the house, so I bought you guys a little wading pool and squirt guns to use in the yard. You're also doing VBS this week, which seems to be a hit.

All last month we did a lot of driving back and forth because I didn't want you to miss all of your baseball games. You really enjoyed playing! I was impressed with how focused you stayed throughout the entire game – always ready to pounce on a ball (and sometimes wrestling for it when another guy got there at the same time!). The a/c is broken on the van too, so I was amazed at how well you all have done with the 1.5 hour commute. We've done fun things on the way – ice cream in Custer, a tour at Jewel Cave, stops at Old MacDonald's Farm – to keep it interesting.

But no doubt it's been a little hard to live two places! Sometimes you ask me “Are we in Wyoming or Rapid City?” And yesterday you must have gotten bored on the drive as you used the time to shove a wad of paper up your nose! I was rather upset as I have often warned you not to do that. You were crying but fortunately you were able to follow my instruction to plug one nostril, hold your breath and blow out the other nostril. Out shot the paper!

Last week we really mixed it up and spent two days near Valentine, Nebraska. My high school friend was visiting her childhood home (a ranch!) so Natalie and the cousins caravaned with us to see my friend Joye and her four children. Between all of us (plus Joye's brother) we had thirteen children seven and under! It rained much of the time, but you still got to swim in a waterfall the first day! The second day we wore trash bags for ponchos while alternating between huddling by the fire and getting towed on a sled by the four-wheeler. The night we slept there was spent with Natalie, me and all seven cousins in one bedroom! Memories for sure.

I keep looking at you in amazement – you are long and lean and so strong! When I hug you, you just feel BIG. There is not an ounce of fat on your body – yet you are so muscular. You can do cartwheels, chin-ups, backwards somersaults, sit-ups, push-ups – so much big guy stuff. And now I'm prepping for our first year of “real school”: first grade.

Elise's Journal

2011-05-13T15:20:00.002-06:00

Three weeks old, my darling. Yet it seems like you have been with us forever. You've come in softly, and quietly filled up all the empty spaces we never knew we had. Even an all-out wail is comforted easily in when your head nuzzles against my cheek. You seem so restful, so sweetly peaceful, that I wonder if you wonder what kind of nightmare of loud and crazy you've landed in! Our family is so different now than it was when your big brother Isaac was born six years ago. I wonder how that difference will shape you . . .

I kept trying not to think about your birth too much, because I knew counting contractions would drive me crazy. So it snuck up on me instead – I didn't expect you to be my earliest baby (three days before your due date.) Your daddy had been working a lot in Wyoming, even staying overnight. But I told him to be on alert at all times and to ALWAYS answer his phone. My labors have gotten shorter with each baby and I figured I would only labor with you 4-6 hours.

The Tuesday before you were born (at 4:21am on Wednesday) was normal. We went to the library. Abby went to her ballet class. Isaac had gymnastics. Daddy was working late in Wyoming so the kids and I ate Culver's for supper. Then I got them to bed and my friend Kirsten came over to visit from about 8-11pm. It took me until midnight to get to sleep (because I was so uncomfortable with my big belly!)

At 2am I woke up quite sore. It took me until 2:20 to decide to call your daddy (the contractions were still not regular). I told him to come and he started driving from Sundance, WY in a snowstorm in the middle of the night! Around 2:45 I called Grammie. She took me to the hospital and Papa stayed at the house with Isaac, Abby and Matthew.

I tottered into the emergency room, realizing that contractions were only about two minutes apart now and quite strong. I was worried that they wouldn't get the penicillin IV in soon enough AND that your daddy wouldn't make it in time! We got to the hospital shortly after 3am. Daddy finally arrived around 4am, right ahead of the doctor and just in time for me to enter transition! Then you were there – all 7 pounds, 11 ounces, 19.5 inches of perfection. I was so glad you actually WERE a girl and you were healthy and somehow it all seemed too good to be true. Your birth went so quickly it almost seemed like a dream.

We named you Elise Kathryn: “Consecrated to God” and “Pure”. “Elise” and “Bette” are both variations of “Elizabeth” so this was our attempt to honor your Grandma B. Kathryn is also her favorite girls name – the name your daddy would have been given if he was a girl! Your siblings like to call you Ellie, which is the perfect sweet nickname.

After taking a while to latch on for the very first time, you quickly became my best nurser ever! You are not as difficult to wake as some of your siblings have been and you know just what to do when it's time to eat. Much to Abby's delight, you also will take a bottle (so she is able to feed you) and a pacifier, both firsts among this little clan. You are truly not very fussy, but you did seem to be rooting around far more than was warranted by hunger. Instead of feeding you every forty minutes, I opted for the pacifier! You are quite content to suck away.

We had a lovely time at the hospital, you and I. I felt great physically (just tired, of course – you were my only middle of the night labor!), but it was wonderful to have two whole days to relax, watch HGTV and examine every inch of your precious body. Daddy was in and out as he shared childcare duties with Grammie. Your brothers and sister were so thrilled to meet you. It was precious to watch each of them hold you for the first time.

Now we're settled in at home. Daddy is still working a lot, so that is hard on Mommy. And just the sheer time commitment of nursing makes it hard for me to stay on top of the rest of life. But for your part, you've blended into our family so smoothly it seems impossible. I snuggle you and cuddle you every chance I get. But when I need you to, you've been quite happy to doze in the bouncy seat.

It is funny though, often the surest way to wake you up is to lay you down – you don't cry, you just wake up. Then if I want you to go to sleep, I just pick you up and cuddle you. Sometimes the transition from wake to sleep is instantaneous. At night though, you are sleeping in your own bed for about ten hours, interrupted only by two brief feedings.

Isaac loves to lay next to you and hug you and kiss you. Abby wants to feed you, hold you and dress you all the time. Matthew is always checking “Where's baby Ellie?” and he also says “Can I pet it?”, sweetly asking permission before stroking your hair! Daddy has already inaugurated the practice of playing the piano with you on his lap – he even wrote a song especially for you “You are my butterfly, soft as a lullaby.”

My sweet, sweet baby how I love you!

Matthew's Journal

2011-05-13T15:17:00.002-06:00

You are officially a big brother! Baby Elise was born April 13 and you are very taken with her! You seem to actually understand that she came out of my big belly. It was so precious to watch you hold her for the first time, and lean in to kiss her. You are always asking me “where's baby Ellie?” and you request frequently, “Can I pet it?” (yes, IT!) It has been hard for you too, though, to give up your baby status. You've definitely been misbehaving and overreacting more than normal, and while you have never been unkind to the baby, you have pushed your way onto my lap a time or two.

You are talking in full sentences with correct grammar all the time now. In fact, you are so careful of your grammar that some longer sentences are almost halting, “Can I . . . come with you . . . to the store?” as if you're afraid of using the wrong word! You definitely seem like a big boy now that you can talk so well. These fluent words also are allowing you to let out your inner bossiness – I often hear “NO, Isaac” or “That's my toy, Abby!” You seem to have an idea of just what everyone should or should not do. As long as they conform to your plan, you are one happy boy. It's when one of us has the gumption to interfere that you get crabby! I have observed that you are often the most content when the older two kids are not around – it's almost like they interfere too much with your idea of fun.

When you're immersed in play, it's not uncommon to find you wearing a backwards hat, Isaac's sunglasses, Abby's shoes, with a toy cell phone in hand, riding your little retro rocket (“car”). “I going to Wynaoming, Mom. See you! Be back tomorrow!” Or you'll push the buttons on your musical toys and spin wild circles around the living room. Or you'll be “cooking” in the playroom and start crying when the “meal” you're bringing upstairs to me falls off the plate. You are by far the most engaged with play of any child I've had.

Anything is fair game as a toy, however. I have to really watch what you get into! You love to stack cans and boxes on the pantry shelves, check out spray triggers on cleaning supplies, hide in the kitchen cupboards. Just today you used a spare computer fan and “plugged” the cord in to the heater vent in the wall. “I'm working,” you said.

By far, books are your favorite thing. You no longer sit for just board books, you love full length picture books – and several in a row. I honestly don't know how long you'd sit if I just kept reading. You can identify ALL the letters of the alphabet and often ask me to help you write them. Your very favorite books are alphabet based, “Chicka chicka boom boom” for example, or rhythmic.

I think you are a difficult and glorious child to parent! I love that you are so engaged, so full of life and interest in everything, so bright and precocious. But it is so difficult when your decisive will conflicts with what I am telling you to do – even “Sit down in your highchair” can become a massive battle if you decide you'd rather do something else. I also think I am a little nervous to teach a child who has taught himself the whole alphabet at two. And did I mention that you've started skipping naps – frequently? Oh, Matt-Matt, may God give me strength to do right by you. And may he give grace to cover when I fail.

Abby's Journal

2011-05-13T15:13:00.003-06:00

Your baby sister is here and you are thrilled! The look on your face when you first held her was priceless! You pick her clothes almost every day and you've changed a number of diapers (even one dirty one!). Until her umbilical cord fell off you were asking me constantly “When can we give her a bath?”. You want to hold her several times a day and I often find you next to her, stroking her head and talking softly. Such a wonderful big sister!

We have taken a little time off reading lessons since Elise was born, but we jumped back in yesterday. You made it through half of “Not A Bed”, and today you read the other half. You read a “real book” so now you are an official reader at not-quite-four-and-a-half! So exciting! I have decided you will be in kindergarten next year even though you will not be five yet. I just can't see calling you “preschool” for another year – you are so bright and easy to teach!

This week is rehearsals for your ballet recital. I have to get you fully costumed and made up three times this week! You are beautiful and you look so OLD with your hair pulled back in a bun and your make-up on. Your costume is bright green and sparkly. I thought you might be nervous, but so far you have only been excited! You told me “I have the whole dance remembered in my head!” Many times lately you have been showing me ballet moves and I am truly impressed by your grace. (Especially since you fall out of your chair at least once at every meal!)

Daddy has been working in Wyoming – and gone a lot. He's almost never here for breakfast and probably at least three nights a week he doesn't get home until you're asleep. You have been so precious, “I really miss my daddy” and “I wish Daddy didn't go to Wyoming.” When he gets home you squeal “DADDY!” and run to hug him. The one upside is that lots of friends have been stepping in to help us out. You've gotten to spend time at lots of different people's houses and it's been very fun for you. For example, Grammie took you to a movie, Miss Danae dyed Easter eggs with you, and you played at the Fagreys' house for a whole day.

I've been trying very hard not to neglect you during this busy newborn season. You are definitely my lowest-maintenance child right now, but that doesn't mean you deserve any less attention. We've done some baking together and played dollies a couple of times. You even went with me to Elise's first doctor appointment and we read together for a long time in the waiting room. You've had a couple of “NO! Mama” moments that made me wonder if this transition is harder on you than you let on. But mostly you amaze me with how laid back you are. For instance, if you mess up a letter while you're writing something, you just scribble it out and move on. I admire that in you!

Isaac's Journal

2011-02-23T14:42:00.003-07:00

Isaac, you have been such a joy lately! We came back from vacation in Texas over New Years and there was a huge sense of let-down and disappointment. You were almost impossible to deal with for several days. I prayed and cried and didn't know what to do - thinking ahead to long winter months with my crabby, rebellious child. Then one day you hurt Matthew and came to me crying because YOU FELT BAD. This sense of remorse was new for you - often you acted impusively and hurt people or disobeyed and didn't seem to care, only apologizing because I made you to. But suddenly you were really SORRY and started apologizing to me unprompted for "being bad". I can only attribute it to the work of the Holy Spirit, because you have been so very delightful recently!

Your chores are generally completed promptly and cheerfully (though you usually do still groan for a moment about cleaning the litter box). You respond quickly and eagerly to many of my requests. You don't fight me on everything - rest time has gone from a daily battle to an "okay mom". Thank you Lord!

I think it has helped to dispel the winter blues that you do swimming lessons 2x a week, plus gymnastics and Bible study. It has been nice to get out of the house and for you it is so important to be physical! You really love gymnastics - it is the perfect combination of jumping, climbing and flipping: all the things you do so naturally. It is great to see you enjoy yourself so much!

We have fun each day doing "kindergarten". We read a Bible story, do scripture memory, a poetry book and another read aloud each day. Your memory is very quick and I think I ought to challenge you even more with the memory work - often you have a verse/passage memorized after only two or three days of repetition. Then we work on another "school project" which ranges from penmanship (writing Christmas thank yous) to geography (putting place stickers on a big US map) to math (using cereal to learn odds and evens) to science experiments. It is amazing how much you pick up just by living - you are constantly telling me math problems (ten plus ten plus ten plus ten is forty, Mom) or trying to read parts of books and signs. I was concerned about covering "kindergarten" material so I checked a book on the subject and discovered you are well past kindergarten!

The other major development was over Christmas as you started playing Christmas carols on the piano. You picked one out by ear, then another, then another. You gained so much confidence that this was something you could do! You would always ask me which key to start on, and I would give you the correct answer for the key of C. Then one day I showed you that really you could start wherever you want if you incorporate the black keys. You took off with that concept too, playing lots of songs in lots of keys. Now you are starting to incorporate some simple chording AND sing harmony when I'm singing around the house. I think you definitely have some musical giftings.

Thanks for your hugs, your kisses, your apologies, your humor. I love you to heaven and back infinity times!

Abby's Journal

2011-02-23T14:17:00.003-07:00

You are so thrilled that we are having a baby GIRL! You're always thinking of new variations on "When the baby sister is born, I will . . ." The fill-in-the-blanks range from "change her diaper" to "always have someone who wants to play girl stuff". You are excited to share your room (though you informed me that I ought to paint the crib white since it would be prettier AND we needed a crib skirt) and you love to talk to my tummy and pray for the baby. It is so precious! Yesterday I took you on a "Mommy/Abby date" to the tea shop and you told me "Soon we will have three girls to come to our tea parties."

Ballet lessons started after your fourth birthday and you were so thrilled! You were excited to learn that you will be a pear from "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" for your recital, and you invite everyone you can think of to come watch you, "But you don't have to; it's okay if you can't come." However, now that you watch Isaac's gymnastics class every week you have decided that maybe you'd rather do that instead - but I told you we have to stick with ballet through the recital since I already paid for the costume! It's funny because you never want to go to ballet class but then you always come home saying you had a good time.

We also have swimming lessons (2x) and Bible study every week which honestly has really helped this winter go more smoothly. It's nice to have something active to do. You also have been very into crafts - painting a fairy suncatcher, making a cereal necklace, decorating your Valentines box. I showed you how to color carefully in the lines using colored pencils and you and I have colored several "princess pictures" side-by-side. You said you want to be a "coloring artist" when you grow up.

Each day for school you listen attentively to our read alouds. You are very good at narrating back the story when I ask you. Then we do some other project - for several weeks we focused on a big map of the US. You really caught on and can identify a lot of states and a lot of things around the country that you would like to see. Other days we do math or science experiments. And we work consistently on phonics - you are very good with short vowel words! Often you "read" to Matthew - it turns out you have almost all of the "baby" books memorized!

Christmas was special this year because I tried to help you and Isaac really understand the "giving" spirit. You guys decorated and sold Christmas cards (pictures of Christmas trees, stockings, and snowmen with the words Merry Christmas)to neighbors and friends. Then you used the money to pick a set of chickens and some soccer balls to order from the World Vision gift catalog.

I definitely see a giving spirit in you overall, Abby. You are very quick to share with your brothers and friends and especially to help Matthew. You are also a great leader, often coming up with ideas to enact in games with Isaac. But you are diplomatic enough to know that he doesn't want to play "baby dolls", so you call it something else instead. You also are the perfect princess of a little girl for your daddy, often rushing upstairs in the morning so you can "have time with Daddy before he has to go to work." I am so grateful to have your sweet heart and sunny spirit around me all day

Matthew's Journal

2011-02-14T14:18:00.003-07:00

Matthew, you will be two at the end of this month! I can hardly believe it - it seems that you were just born, and now "Maffew- big boy" as you like to say. You are talking in full sentences at times - and quite clearly too. Most people have no trouble understanding your words. Just in the last day "Pony, pony went to town!" and "My tummy full." You also are quite the singer: "Hoew-lee, Hoew-lee, Hoew-lee, Ward God awlmighty, early moooorning, song shall wise te dee." But there's no mistaking what you're singing because you are almost perfectly on pitch! The minute we get in the van (and many times at home throughout the day) I hear "Music on, music on!"

Everyone seems to agree that you are just impossibly adorable. Between your dimples and your stick-up hair and your funny little trot, your spunk and your willingness to snuggle, there is so much to love! Daddy and I just can't get over you. Unfortunately you've figured out just how sweet you are and it's not uncommon for you to snuggle in for a hug right before it's time for discipline. You are very proficient at emptying the wastebaskets, but often you refuse when I tell you it's time. I give you the direction and you just stand staring at the floor until I move toward you for a spanking. Then you run at me saying "hug, hug, hug" in a mournful voice. Whenever we have you apologize for something, you say sorry to the object instead of to us! For instance, if you throw a toy car, you'll say "Sorry, car!"

You love your siblings dearly. I often see you run to get a ball, then you stand in the living room and say "Isaac catch, Isaac catch, Isaac catch" until Isaac comes to play with you. Abby likes to involve you in her little toy kitchen or play house games. Sometimes you are very cooperative and sometimes you end up causing trouble. Whenever you see something pink or purple you say "Abby" because you know she'd like it. Isaac is green and you tend to favor yellow. In fact you are sometimes upset when you can't get a picture of a yellow object off of the page of a book!

It was a lot of fun to see your excitement at Christmas. You loved the "Kissmas tee" and really got into "open present, open present". Daddy and I gave you a toy coffee maker and toaster - they each entertained you for an hour on Christmas morning. Then for New Years we went to Texas and it was wonderful that you finally WANTED to be with "Gamma B" and your uncles. You were extremely taken with the daddy lion at the zoo in Waco - not surprisingly since he roared and walked right in front of us!

Then January and February began - often the slowest months of the year. But we've had quite a few days nice enough to be outside (though you have quite the stubborn tendency to take off your mittens then cry because of cold hands) so it hasn't been too bad. The bigger kids take swimming lessons twice a week, so you are in the YMCA nursery during that time. It is amazing how well you do - a year ago I couldn't have imagined it. You also go to the nursery during my Bible study and just trot in happily every week!

I thank God for you - your determination and focus and just plain cuteness. I am treasuring these last couple of months with you as my baby. I can't quite bring myself to say no when you want a story or a snuggle or even "Mama, sit" as you pat the floor next to you while building a block tower. I love you so!

Matthew's Journal

2010-12-01T15:36:00.001-07:00

Oh, I'm so sad that I have let such a long time elapse since I last wrote. My goal is to write every month, but this fall was so hard because I was sick for several months. It was a good sickness though – you are going to be a big brother in April! All I could do this fall was make sure you had clean clothes and diapers. I barely managed to feed you guys and I didn't do much schooling, cleaning or – ahem – journaling at all.

You have turned from baby into little boy. Your vocabulary has exploded! You can imitate just about any word – though you're still not putting them together in sentences very much. It is so funny to see how particular you are. For instance, if Daddy leaves the piano bench out a bit, you are sure to push it back in. Every morning when I go to the kitchen to make breakfast you yell “coffee” (cah-kee) and get the coffee maker out of the cupboard. Then if I tell you what we're having for breakfast, you'll get the appropriate equipment out of the cupboard. For instance, if I say “we're having eggs” you'll go get a mixing bowl. If I say “french toast” you'll get the griddle, and even anticipate my need for a flipper! If I ever need to keep you busy I just stand you on a chair at the kitchen counter with a bowl, a spoon and some water – you're quite happy to “cook”.

You have become very attached to your little blankie (the one I used to swaddle you in when you were newborn). You carry it around everywhere and call it “gootgee”. It is so charming to see you cuddle it or drag it around after you. Your facial expressions convey that you understand so much more than you communicate. You will avoid eye contact when you're embarrassed and my favorite is the way you “throw a fit” - you run away and throw yourself on the floor, but there's no kicking or screaming or anything! You are also very empathetic – the first one to be concerned when one of your siblings gets hurt “Abby sad”, etc. One time Isaac got hurt and you just went to him, sat facing him on his lap, and hugged him for about three whole minutes. You were his favorite buddy forever after that!

It seems that you really love music. If Daddy starts playing the piano or even puts music on the computer, you are THERE. You sing almost constantly while riding in the car – I don't know WHAT you're singing, but it sure is cute. I love to watch you dance as well – you really get into it! I keep trying to catch you on video, but as soon as I bring out the camera, you stop dancing because you want to see the camera! But you have this funny move where you squat down and bounce your knees . . .

It's fun to see all the things you learn just by being around your big siblings. Somehow you figured out how to identify the letter “S” - and now you point it out everywhere. You seem to be very interested in learning the names of the other letters as well. Isaac taught you to say “ready, set, GO” right before you run madly together through the house. Abby is always having you repeat words after her and you are very obliging. You also listen in very intently to about half of our reading for school – especially Bible story, where you think every picture is “God”. When it comes to your own board books, you'll let me read ten or twelve in a row to you – you LOVE IT!

We just got back from Thanksgiving in MN. It is so fun to see the joy you bring to everyone! Your little dimpled smile (most people say you look like me!) and your crazy antics are just endearing. My favorite moment was when you wore out your Grandpa Curt by playing a combination chase/hide-n-seek game. I think you have a thing for Grandpas because you run squealing to your Papa every time too. And you adore your Daddy . . .

Abby's Journal

2010-12-01T15:35:00.000-07:00

Oh, I'm so sad that I have let such a long time elapse since I last wrote. My goal is to write every month, but this fall was so hard because I was sick for several months. It was a good sickness though –we are having another baby in April! You are praying so hard for a sister, but “It's not like I would hate a boy, mom.” All I could do this fall was make sure you had clean clothes. I barely managed to feed you guys and I didn't do much schooling, cleaning or – ahem – journaling at all.

Abby, you'll be four on Sunday! Wow! You couldn't decide between a princess party, a dolly party or a tea party so we're combining all three. It is so fun that you have so many little girl friends to invite – you've made a lot of friends this year! You played a lot this summer and fall with the neighbor girl Veronikka. It was fun for you to have a girl around so much. You just love being a princess and hardly a day goes by that you don't dress up as a princess or ballet dancer or fairy. Such a girly girl – I think it is so funny that you have “beds” and birth order and names figured out for each of your six babies. Sometimes you'll dress them all in the morning and put them in their jammies at night. Alice, Aliyah, Judy, Dinah, Hope, and Lucy.

I was worried a year ago that you couldn't write your name yet, so I worked hard teaching you to shape each letter A-b-b . . . but you never quite got “y”. Until suddenly a couple of months ago you magically knew how to write all of your letter! I'm not sure how that happened, because I sure didn't “teach” you. You also started doing Alpha-Phonics about a month ago and can now read words like “ab” “sand” or “tax”. You had begged to start reading and now you definitely remind me every day that you want to practice reading!

You and Isaac were part of a homeschool coop this fall. Each Thursday afternoon, you were in a class with other homeschooled preschoolers where you did fun music, science and art activities. You loved it!We also go to Bible study each Wednesday morning, where you are learning about Isaiah in your class just like I do in mine. I always get such good reports from your teachers – that you are so smart and sweet! One time you were the only one in your class to know what “Veterans Day” was. Everyone always thinks you're considerably older than you are because you are just very well-spoken. Even I am amazed at the way you remember things you've only heard once! (Who was Jesse in the Bible, Abby?)

In October we went to Denver for a wedding. One of the days I got to take you kids to the children's museum AND the aquarium – two things I've been wanting to do with you for a while. You loved them both! It was so fun to see your awe of all the sea creatures and your joy at touching a sting ray! Then just a week ago we went to Minnesota for Thanksgiving. You really got into charming the relatives this time, “I just want to sit by my grandpa”. Or “Will you play Barbies with me, Aunt Mo?” How could anyone say no?

Several times lately you've come up to me and given me a back rub – just because. You'll snuggle in for a hug and whisper, “You're my best mama. I just love you soon much.” I LOVE having you so sweet and affectionate. Your fiery side comes out though, especially with Isaac. You've been holding your ground more with him, which has meant some crazy hitting, pinching, spitting, etc behavior. When I confront you, you usually start crying and tell me “I forgot to ask Jesus to help me!” I am so glad you are thinking to turn to Him, even if it is a little late.

Isaac's Journal

2010-12-01T15:34:00.001-07:00

Oh, I'm so sad that I have let such a long time elapse since I last wrote. My goal is to write every month, but this fall was so hard because I was sick for several months. It was a good sickness though – we are going to have a new baby in April! All I could do this fall was make sure you had clean clothes. I barely managed to feed you guys and I didn't do much schooling, cleaning or – ahem – journaling at all.

You were such a big help during that time! I felt like you really grew up in some ways. I now feel like I can ask you to do most (small) jobs and get a quick and ready response. (Some of the bigger jobs don't excite you still!) In addition, you volunteered several times to help prepare meals, even making lunch by yourself a couple of times. You adore Matthew and so you were always happy to play with him, even though your play styles don't completely mesh. (You are very physical and he is very focused and particular.)

I am seeing a real change in you, though, from crazy and unfocused ALL. THE. TIME. to really enjoying focused, calm activities. Can I say HALLELUJAH! You have been drawing, writing and coloring almost non stop for several months. You used to have almost no interest. Now you are begging me for “art lessons” so you can learn to draw more things. You also have built some amazing Duplo skyscrapers and a few little Lego creations.

You and Abby were part of a homeschool coop this fall. Each Thursday afternoon, you were in a class with other homeschooled kindergarteners where you did fun music, science and art activities. You loved it!We also go to Bible study each Wednesday morning, where you are learning about Isaiah in your class just like I do in mine. I always get such good reports from your teachers – that you are such a good listener and you always know all the answers! You told me today that you had to answer almost all of the questions at Bible study. I asked you if the other kids wanted to answer. You said they raised their hands but they didn't know what they were talking about so you had to tell the right answers.

In October we went to Denver for a wedding. One of the days I got to take you kids to the children's museum AND the aquarium – two things I've been wanting to do with you for a while. You loved the sharks especially! It was so fun to see your awe of all the sea creatures and your joy at touching a sting ray! Then just a week ago we went to Minnesota for Thanksgiving. You amazed me by playing outside for hours in the snowy, cold, darkness just so you could be with Westley and Hayden.

It has been interesting to see you start to understand more and more of the Bible. You've latched on to the notion of original sin, because whenever I call you out on something you tell me “It's Adam's fault!” But then you've been quicker to repent as well and when we snuggle you often tell me, “I love you the most.” Then I say, “no, I love YOU the most.” and we argue for a while, because that may never change – you really like to argue.

Matthew's Journal

2010-08-15T15:47:00.001-06:00

Oh Matthew, you have been so sweet and endearing lately. So few crabbies and so much cuteness. I thought this day might never come, but here you are! Daddy and I just sit and watch your darling silliness then look at each other and sigh that we wish we could keep you so little. You make silly squeaks and bounce up and down whenever you feel “watched”. You know it will bring laughs. And if something drops or spills, you’ll get a mournful look and say ‘Ohhhhh”. If you get hurt, it’s a mournful “Owwwww” along with a presentation of the offended body part for kisses.

You’re starting to talk so much – you’ll try so much more than you used to. I think your first sentence was “Bye bye Daddy”, but “More tic tac” runs a close second. (Whenever Isaac and Abby get a piece of gum, I let you have a tic tac so you don’t feel left out.) Just this morning I said “All gone” and you repeated me exactly. And you just babble too – very unlike the other kids. You’ll just talk and talk and talk – sounding like you’re trying to say something but I have no idea what. You’ll read books to yourself that way too. Speaking of which, you have been bringing me books several times a day now and sitting while I read them to you – your favorite is currently Eric Carle’s “Brown Bear, Brown Bear”.

We went camping at Center Lake a couple times last month and you did great! I think we wore you out so much that you just went right to sleep in the tent every time and slept through the whole night! You really loved the lake, which is such a change for you. I had to really watch you because you’d just start walking into the water, deeper and deeper, without really any concern for your own wellbeing. Dirt, sticks, rocks, sand, water – you have really embraced everything outdoors and I love watching you explore. You even picked a pretty little flower and brought it to me the other day – you learn so much by imitating your big brother and sister!

You are really a master of fine motor skills. I am very impressed by your ability to scribble (staying on the paper), build block towers, feed yourself with utensils, even pour water back and forth between containers. At this point you’re a little bowlegged, so you trip a lot when you try to run, but when it comes to using your hands to push buttons, open and close things, etc., you are really good!

You’re still very determined, of course. Generally you do seem to want to please, but when I have to correct you, you often repay me by hitting. Our biggest problem is (ironically) our newly fenced back yard. One gate doesn’t have a latch on it yet and you have made it your mission in life to get out the gate while my back is turned. So I can’t really let you outside without me like I did with Abby at this age. Though as long as we have some water activity going – kiddie pool, sprinkler, water balloons, slip n slide or even just buckets of water – you are quite happy to stay in the yard!

You’ve grown very attached to your little blue waffle-weave blankie. One of my favorite parts of the day is when you voluntarily lay your head on my shoulder and clutch your blankie as I sing before bed:
Your name is Matthew, Matthew
Jesus loves you
Yes, He died just for you and He is risen too
Jesus loves you yes He does, Matthew

Abby's Journal

2010-08-14T15:44:00.001-06:00

This summer has found you in a different outfit just about every hour of every day. First jammies, then you get dressed in some cute little sundress. Then you and Isaac go outside and “accidentally” get all wet with the hose. So you change into your swimsuit for a while. Then I call you to get dressed for lunch – which means a whole second outfit. But right after lunch you remember you’ve been meaning to play dress up. Off with the regular clothes and on with the tutu. If Veronikka’s over you might even request to play with make-up. And so on. At least you can dress yourself.

We went camping a couple of times last month. You couldn’t stop saying, “I just LOVE camping! Only I don’t like pit toilets.” And we let you stay up late to sing around the campfire. Looking up at the stars, you said, “Nighttime at camping is just AWESOME!” It is so fun to watch you have fun – you’ve turned into a little water bug, splashing in every lake or creek you find. You’ll return again and again to the water, even when you’re shivering cold!

We do a lot of water play at home too, from slip n slide to kiddie pool to water balloons. You and Isaac like to dump buckets of water down the slide to make a “water slide”. We also made a “mud pie kitchen” out of an old side table with cubbie doors to store little thrift store muffin tins and mixing bowls. You’ve had several long afternoons of fun mixing up strange concoctions.

You’ve started skipping a nap here or there, so I’m thinking you may drop your nap altogether a lot sooner than Isaac did. However, I’m very grateful that you are truly DELIGHTED to sit on your bed and look at books! You tell me that you want to learn to read “Alpha-Phonics” in the fall, and I actually really think you may be ready.

I’ve started having you and Isaac pray after our morning Bible reading time and I am amazed at the thought and feeling that goes into your prayers: “Oh God, we just need you so much. Thank you God that you save us and give us grace. Help us to love you and help us to do what’s right. Amen”

Isaac's Journal

2010-08-13T15:39:00.003-06:00

This has been a super fun month for you, Isaac. We’ve been doing tons of fun summer play: water balloons, bike rides, wading in the creek, picnics and batting practice at the park . . . You are loving it. You even had a soccer camp for two hours a day for five days. It was so weird because you never wanted to go but then you came home saying you had fun. I think you were taken with your (British) coach, but maybe soccer isn’t really your game.

We went camping a couple of times last month and you still can’t stand to leave. This year we let you bring your bike and ride around the campground loop by yourself. It kept you very occupied and you were so good about watching for cars and staying to the side of the road. You are also very obsessed with making fires and even got a little burn last time because you are so eager to “help”. We camped at Center Lake both times and you just adored the beach time and the fishing. You even went on a hike with Mommy, Daddy and Papa, bush-whacking up the mountain and keeping up very well. I love it that you love outdoors, Isaac!

You have pretty well dropped your nap all together. I still make you lay quietly on the bed for a while, and then I used to let you look at books. Problem was, you don’t really like looking at books – you like being READ to. So Grammie bought you a whole library of Children’s Story Hour cds and you LOVE them. You ask for more and more every day! I am so thankful for this solution so that you enjoy yourself AND I still get some quiet time.

Speaking of reading, you are coming along very well. We still read together every day and you like reading actual books versus the actual curriculum that I have. So I have backed off from pressuring you to do that and instead we are really enjoying the reading that you CAN do! You are excited to start kindergarten this fall (though you wish you were in first grade like several friends). I feel like I am in a much better position with you than I was a year ago, Isaac – I think you will be a willing and eager pupil and I am so grateful.

You got a model rocket for your birthday. Finally two nights ago you and Dad built it and last night we launched it. The look on your face after the first launch was priceless. “WOW – that was so awesome!” Unfortunately after the second (900ft) launch, we lost the rocket. I guess we’ll have to build another one because it was definitely a hit. I’ve been excited that you are building a little bit – an awesome Duplo castle for one. You’ve also been quite taken with making Origami butterflies after reading a story about a girl who does the same.

Random

2010-07-19T14:22:00.002-06:00

I am grateful for a home library (vs just the books we get from the public library each week) because it amounts to several hundred books that my kids can "read" to themselves since they know the stories so thorougly.

And today Isaac asked, "What's Disneyworld?"

What the Gospel Can Do

2010-07-07T13:38:00.002-06:00

I was sobbing for joy by the end of this "cardboard story".

Isaac's Journal

2010-07-04T21:52:00.001-06:00

I filled the kiddie pool today for you guys and you had such a ball! Jumping in, spraying the hose, throwing “splash balls” – these things are all so YOU, Isaac. You are active, physical, and also very relational so you were glad your brother, sister, and neighbor were there to share the fun. I really like those things about you, bug.

We just finished reading through the “Jesus Storybook Bible” and I am so thrilled with your seeming understanding of what Christ came to do and how he is reflected or foreshadowed in so many of the other stories. You are truly seeking and asking and wanting to understand God’s truth. I have really been trying to bring grace into even our times of discipline so that you will understand what it really is. Just two times I have told you that you would miss a privilege/be punished if you did something again. When you did it, you knew what you deserved and told me so. After I saw you fully owning your actions, I revoked the consequences and told you that I was giving you grace. What a light dawned in your soul!

We just got back from five days in Minnesota. You really love your Uncle Westley, and it was no different this time. Playing catch, riding the pedal cars, running around with toy guns, climbing trees, getting in on the big kid kickball game, chasing quarters thrown by Uncle Greg, watching Toy Story 3 in the theater with Daddy, Westley and Breanna – so much action and so much fun. We also went strawberry picking. You made it out of the field with two strawberries in your bucket – kerplink, kerplank, kerplunk! I think you enjoyed the Como Zoo as well.

We let you do a lot of nap skipping and by the last day or so of the trip you were worn out and weepy. When you get in a crying fit it is almost impossible to get you out! Sometimes it takes as long as forty minutes, because you just won’t be reasoned with and you insist you CANNOT stop crying. I like it that your emotions are so real – there’s nothing fake about you – but my goodness, sometimes it’s rough! Daddy and I are so torn whether to just snuggle you or whether to make you buck up and quit!

Either way, I’ve been loving you, Isaac. You are so full of life and grins and energy and when I get a kiss from you it’s like my whole world smiles.

Abby's Journal

2010-07-04T21:44:00.003-06:00

You wish you were five or six because “Everybody else is!” Indeed all of your little girl friends (plus Isaac) are five (Veronikka next door), six (Grace Belcher), or even seven (Emma at church). I tried to comfort you by telling you that you are a very big girl for three since all of those big girls enjoy playing with you! Also, I said, you’ll only be three once, so let’s enjoy it! Oh, you’re too big already!

Thank you Jesus, Thank you Jesus, for your grace, for your grace. Thank you that you love us, thank you that you love us. Amen, amen. You sing that song or some variation several times a day! You are often reflecting on themes of grace or love or sin or just talking about Jesus. I love that He is on your brain and in your heart.

You got to do three days (1.5 hours/day) of Angelina Ballerina dance camp at a local dance studio. Crafts, snacks and dance instruction were all themed around your favorite book character – the little dancer mouse Angelina. You were so thrilled to wear real ballet shoes and try out all your hand-me-down leotards. I was a little nervous that you’d back out at the last minute, but each day you were eager to go. On the last day you did a little demonstration for the parents, and you knew just how to plié and arabesque with all of the bigger girls.

We just got back from five days in Minnesota. You had fun seeing everyone, but I also found you in a corner by yourself looking at books a few times – regrouping from all the action I guess. We went strawberry picking one day. I told you that you could eat as many as you wanted, but you held off because you were determined to pick enough to make a strawberry pie. So you picked a whole pound by yourself! Together with Mommy and Daddy’s twenty pounds, we had enough for a couple of pies and then some. You were so tickled that I followed through on your fancy for strawberry pie.

We also went to the Como Zoo one day and your favorite is still the pink flamingos! I think all of the aunties, uncles, grandparents and cousins in MN were just delighted by you. Your sweet smile and gabby stories and flouncy little sundresses are just irresistible!

Matthew's Journal

2010-07-04T20:50:00.002-06:00

You’ve really turned a corner and now you are much happier and more communicative. (I think those two are connected.) You still aren’t talking much, but you’ve figured out how to let us know what you want by, for instance, pulling on the fridge handle when you want your milk. Or you’ll even go get yourself a chair to stand on if you want to watch what’s happening at the kitchen counter. It’s been great!

I think you’re also just enjoying summer. You’ll bring me your little crocs (shoes) when you want to go outside. You love it when I push you on your tricycle. Plus the sandbox really keeps you busy – you dig sand into a bucket, dump, and repeat. Just today we pulled out the kiddie pool for the first time this summer. You were soaked from head to toe, laughing, splashing, loving it!

We just got back from five days in Minnesota. You really enjoyed seeing new people for the first time! You went to everyone very well – only the new puppy had you nervous. We went strawberry picking and you just plopped yourself down in the middle of the row and helped yourself. I had a hard time keeping my bucket safe from you! Another day we went to the Como Zoo – it was so fun to watch your eyes light up when you spotted the monkeys or the giraffes.

I thought I’d do a little “Matthew’s Favorites” list here:
Favorite lovey: your blue blankey that I use to tuck you in every night
Favorite food: chili-or-spaghetti-type substances with ground beef, beans, tomato saucy
Favorite book: touch and feel animal board books
Favorite drink: whole milk!
Favorite person: Daddy when he’s home
Favorite activities: Emptying cupboards, making puzzles (with help), dancing or playing piano
Favorite place: Church (haha – NOT). Probably playgrounds – you climb all over everything!

My beach fix

2010-05-20T15:55:00.003-06:00

I have had two beach vacations in the last month (Three days in FL with Keith followed by three days in TX with the whole family). I am truly blessed, and theoretically I should be rejuvenated and relaxed. I'm finding that's not the case.

I spend all day every day with three small children. Relaxation is hard to come by.

I have a five-year-old who is perpetually tired as he discoveres the joys of NOT napping. Often crabby and argumentative.

I have a three-year-old who has finally discovered that she has a will. Pouty and rebellious.

And even if they are being well-behaved, the one-year-old alone drives me to distraction. When he's not all out screaming, he's whining. I truly have never seen such a grumpy kid. I tell Keith that it's good he's occasionally cuddly because otherwise I would be in the madhouse by now.

Beach vacations didn't do the trick for me. What to do?

I'm learning moment by moment to press into Christ. His strength is enough. His patience never fails (though mine does many times a day). And most importantly, His grace abundantly covers my failings.

If a once-a-year vacation was all I had to refresh my spirit, I would be a goner. Instead I have constant, daily access to the refreshing wind of the Spirit. Whenever I stop long enough to notice, His breeze is whispering at the edges of my heart, begging me to open the door so His wind can gust through my needy soul.

Isaac's Journal

2010-04-16T15:22:00.000-06:00

Very interesting that right after I wrote about what a good boy you had been in my last journal entry, your behavior started going majorly downhill. We were having all-out battles nearly every day and sometimes several times a day. I think I'm learning that I need to avoid the posture of “HOW could you behave that way?” (because sometimes I am truly horrified at what you do/say) and react with the attitude of coming alongside you to help you defeat your sin nature. I have to keep you and me on the same team – because you're wired to fight and I don't want you fighting me, I want you fighting sin! So things have been better but there's always so much for me (and you) to learn.

You thrive on interaction with people; some of your favorite activities recently have been: mini-golfing with Grammie, hiking to the Stratabowl with Mama, and helping Daddy build a raised bed garden for the Fagreys (which actually translates into playing with their uber-cool eleven-year-old son). You've really begun showing gratitude for special things: “Thanks so much for the ice cream, Daddy!” “Mom, you're so nice to take us swimming at the Y!” “Grammie, thank you for taking us to McDonald's and GETTING US A TOY!” You've also been learning the joy of giving: one day you shared a smartie with Matthew and just basked in the glow of his smile.

This spring is your first soccer season. You were so excited before the first game. Picking out shin-guards, trying on hand-me-down-cleats, practicing with Daddy. Daddy is your coach and we waited a year to start you, and I think both things contributed to your feeling pretty comfortable with it all. I busted up laughing a couple of times while watching you: you'd kick then do a somersault, or work in a little head stand or cartwheel action. You played hard, were quite fast and you did score one goal in your first game, so I am very pleased with my little soccer player!

Easter was special this year as I felt you were truly starting to understand the meaning of it. We did little projects every day during Holy Week to help us think about Jesus, and each morning approaching Good Friday we lit fewer candles and Daddy read the appropriate Bible passage for the day. You were so excited on Easter morning when all of the candles were lit! The chocolate bunny at your plate didn't hurt either, but I do hope the truth resonated deeply in your heart.

I'm so glad the weather is turning nice. You are outside A LOT and seem to be more willing to be out there without me. We've been playing a lot of whiffleball. The neighbor boy Everett has come over a couple of times to play too, which you've enjoyed. You've just been full of good ideas: planting seeds with Abby, playing on the fort, coloring with sidewalk chalk. It's all new again every spring!

Abby's Journal

2010-04-15T15:00:00.002-06:00

An exciting time for Abby: you have gone from identifying upper and lower case letters to knowing 90% of your letter sounds in just a few weeks! You started to want to “practice reading” like Isaac, so each day after our pre-nap stories you tell me the letter sounds for the letters on the front cover of your book. It takes five minutes or less but such progress already – it helps that you remember after I've told you once. Now the only remaining hurdle is that your short vowel sounds are a bit indistinct. You also love playing math games and you can do plus and minus one pretty adeptly.

I found you an $8 Princess bike at the thrift store, so now you've officially graduated from the tricycle to training wheels. You do well on it – just s l o w. We need to work on leg strength but it's hard to know how to balance that with Isaac's need for speed! You've been playing in the back yard non-stop for a couple of spring weeks now. Even the next door neighbor girl Veronica (4) is getting in on the fun as you go back and forth between yards.

Isaac started playing soccer this spring and you tell me that you will “play ballet” when you are four. You love having various dance outfits to change into throughout the day! In March you got your first chance to be on stage when you were a “little sister” at the Miss Rapid City pageant. You did a little dance with the reigning Miss Rapid City, handed her a flower, and did a curtsy. Everyone thought you were adorable in your little brown and pink dress – you were the littlest little sister up there! I bought you a rose when you were done and you cried when it was wilted a week later.

Sometimes I realize I've nearly forgotten about you since Isaac is the one yelling and running through the house and Matthew is the one whining at my feet. You can be quite content with one little toy or book or even just observing the fray . . . but then when I get you one on one you don't stop talking! When it's just you and me you often comment, “It's so peaceful when the boys are gone. I like it to be peaceful.”

You've really been enjoying your little gal friends at church: you, Emma Jacobs and the Fagrey girls follow each other around playing teacher or house or store. It's always sad when it's time to go. We've started going to a weekly Bible study also – but almost all of the kids in your class are boys! Poor Abby – so many boys in your life! At least you'll know how to hold your own among them, which is something I never really learned!

Matthew's Journal

2010-04-14T14:58:00.002-06:00

You've learned and grown a lot, Matyu-boy. Of course, you turned one on February 28. This has been the fastest year of my life – it is so hard for me to believe you are one! You had a joint celebration with cousin Beckham and Uncle Brandon. Brandon picked the cake – some sort of divine cheesecake with chocolate ganache and a raspberry topping – and Beckham blew out the candles but you didn't seem to mind. Similarly, you got a bunch of Isaac and Abby's old toys for your presents. You love the ball popper, just like they did! Poor third child. I sometimes worry that you'll feel you got the short end of the stick . . . but then I realize that Isaac and Abby get nearly all hand-me-downs also plus I don't want you to grow up thinking material things = love.

And you are loved! Oh my. Sometimes I feel my heart will break when you lay your head on my shoulder and we snuggle (you are so snuggly still!) and I sing and I wish I could keep the world away from you forever. Your precious big eyes, soft wispy hair, giant grin complete with the most charming dimples. Oh the prayers I pray for you as we cuddle together: that you will never doubt His love, that you will be His more completely than I will ever imagine. There's something about you, little one, that takes my breath away and makes my heart sing all at the same time.

The ultimate demonstration of your strong will: one evening Daddy took a spoonful of peanut butter away from you. You just SHRIEKED – so loud and long that you didn't breathe again until you had passed out! You turned blue and went limp and then woke up all within 30 seconds. That was scary! You did it a few times more on other days but you now seem to be able to control your cries to avoid that – you didn't like it! You still SHRIEK when you don't get your way though and I'm always on edge, waiting for you to go limp.

I tried to start working out at the YMCA but you would have NONE of the child care. You would scream for ten solid minutes then the workers would come get me. You were willing to go to no-one but me, Daddy, Papa and Grammie. Then I started going to a once-a-week Bible study which provides a children's program. You screamed and screamed the first few times but those gals stuck it out with you and prayed for you. I am so thankful for them because now you'll go to nearly anyone after a few minutes of warming up to them. You go to people at church, your aunties, international friends. Whenever we see Grammie or Papa you almost launch yourself out of my arms you're so excited. I think you've finally learned that other people are okay! Whenever we're in a crowd you love to toddle all around the room, grinning at people.

Isaac loves having you share his room. He willingly cleared out half his dresser for your clothes and he's so careful to be quiet when you're asleep. He's always trying to play with you and make you laugh. Often he will talk babytalk to you (which drives Daddy crazy) but then you'll imitate his exact sounds. Abby is your little care-taker. She's always hugging you or brushing your hair or bringing you toys or commenting on your needs and desires (as if you leave any doubt). You like to give her hugs. You're not so sure about the hair-brushing.

You're a much better eater now, drinking whole milk easily from a cup. You love saucy foods: casseroles, pasta, cheesy potatoes. But also asparagus, broccoli, clementines, apples, melon, etc. Not really a bread guy. And once you taste everything on your tray, you pick a favorite and want ONLY that. You'll eat three scrambled eggs without touching your toast or banana. One night you ate a whole plate of refried beans AND a whole plate of rice at a Mexican restaurant. The next night you ate three big hotdogs at Grammie's house.

Do you do every task in exactly the same order too?

2010-04-06T15:31:00.002-06:00

You know you're a methodical person when you have deja vu every time you clean your house.

Spring must be here

2010-03-22T14:24:00.002-06:00

Smoothies for lunch

were followed by

sunny day walk

Spring must be here

dandelion

has bloomed again

The wisdom of Christopher Robin

2010-03-18T10:40:00.003-06:00

I can't believe I made it through childhood without reading the orginal Winnie the Pooh stories. I did have a wonderful childhood, though, full of stories and outdoors and make-believe. And while somewhat sadly finishing "The House at Pooh Corner" this morning with my children, I encountered this excerpt that describes the childhood I desire to give to my children: slow, simple, whole. Or as Christopher Robin says, "Nothing."

"I like that too," said Christopher Robin, "but what I like doing best is Nothing."

"How do you do Nothing?" asked Pooh, after he had wondered for a long time.

"Well, it's when people call out at you just as you're going off to do it, What are you going to do, Christopher Robin, and you say, Oh, nothing, and then you go and do it."

"Oh, I see," said Pooh.

"This is a nothing sort of thing that we're doing now."

"Oh, I see," said Pooh again.

"It means just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering."

"Oh!" said Pooh.

Simple, slow, whole

2010-03-16T14:16:00.003-06:00

In this world of high-tech, fast paced, processed, I fight the battle to defend simple, slow, whole.

I say no to movies nearly every day. Today I'm rewarded as my son cheers at the sight of a newly-thrifted storybook.

I say no to go-go-going, even when the days seem long and sometimes dull. Today I'm rewarded by the pure bliss of smiles as I blow bubbles with my daughter.

I say no to desserts and candy and chips and kool-aid. Today I'm rewarded as my one-year old eats steamed broccoli, plain yogurt and whole-grain bread.

What battles do you deem worth the fight?

Why theology matters

2010-03-15T15:04:00.004-06:00

Despite all that I've learned about parenting, I still fall for it every time:

Isaac is driving me crazy! Each day is worse than the last! He spits in my face when I ask him to do something. Every little thing is either a battle or a sobfest. I'm dying to send him to boarding school, I mean - PREschool.

Three months later . . .

Isaac has been SO much better. He's been cheerful and helpful and sweet.I think I'm finally doing something right! I'm SO glad I didn't send him to school - I'm loving this time with him.

One month later (eg RIGHT NOW)
Isaac is driving me crazy! What am I doing wrong?

I'm so grateful that I know that my son was hand-picked for me by God! That's an important truth to remember some days. It's also important for me to realize that God will work even melted-glitter-crayon-all-over-my-jeans-load for my good. Off to deal with reality in the light of blissful eternity.

The moments between

2010-03-12T14:18:00.003-07:00

My house is a mess right now. Two nights of overnight guests = dishes and bedding strewn about. Babysitting extra kids two days in row = extra toys and dishes. Food thawing on the counter for supper tonight, men's breakfast at church tomorrow, birthday cake being made for Sunday.

Our life is full - so many people intersect our path. Some for just a few days - like our spring break trip houseguests. Some, like my dear nephews, come again and again. My home has become my little center for ministry - supper for friends one day, an offer to babysit the next, a meal prepared and delivered to the hurting, a phone call or email, a word to a neighbor over the fence, and the ever present ministry of child-rearing.

And moments like this one: the in-between of clean-up and preparation. Me in the quiet while children sleep, listening to a God's Word preached via podcast and relishing the work I've been given.

Progress

2010-03-05T14:46:00.002-07:00

I'm so glad that there are things in life where measurable progress can be made. So much of my day consists of picking up the same toys, washing the same dishes, laundering the same clothes. There is beauty to this rhythm, but today I am grateful for progress.

Nine months ago I decided I was tired of my bare cabinet-tops. I started collecting blue-and-white items (a dollar here and a dollar there secondhand) and now that space between cabinets and ceiling is full and attractive.

In September I started teaching my son to read words like "am" and "ax". Today he read five sentences (Chuck is fixing the shack) in four minutes.

Yesterday I had six months of photos and captions to add to four separate photo albums. Today I'm almost done.

Aren't you glad we're going somewhere? We're not running in circles, though it may seem like it at times. We have a goal, a destination, a glorious END which is really the beginning of all things real.

"Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:12-14

I'm back?

2010-02-25T15:39:00.003-07:00

It's been nearly a year since I posted with any sort of regularity. A year ago my precious baby boy was born and it took me a while to recover. Then we had a house fire and Christmas and with regularly posting grocery store deals on my Thrifty Rapid City website, I just didn't have a lot of free computer time. (I generally stay off the computer while my kids are awake and my husband gets first dibs when he's home.) After a lot of thought, I've stopped writing for the thrifty website. I find myself with more free time and well, let's just say I am finally getting my curtains rehung post-fire.

I am foolish enough to think that perhaps I will find more time for jottings here too.

Because there are things to say. Questions of life and meaning and beauty and truth rumbling around in my heart that won't quite speak until I've written them down. So much that matters so much more than I realize and I don't know just how I fit in. Or if I am strong enough to fit myself into this vast masterpiece of a universe called real faith.

One challenge I've been giving myself lately: just say yes. If the thought occurs to me to slow at the side of the road and give the man with the sign a bag of bagels and a five - then I ought to. If I think that perhaps I should set aside my hoped for floor scrubbing and make a painting with my kids then I should say YES. If the thought enters my mind that what am I thinking wanting it easier in this life when I could pour myself out in this life and receive 1000-fold in the next - then that is just exactly what I ought to be doing.

Matthew's Journal

2010-02-12T15:43:00.000-07:00

You're sleeping through the night now! It took a bit of crying in early January, but really not so bad – a couple of nights of ½ hour or so of wailing. I am so thankful. It's also ironic - since we had such trouble nursing six months ago - that now you LOVE to nurse and I am having a hard time contemplating weaning you! We are down to about three nursings a day – the rest is table food and a little formula. You are a picky eater so far – if you don't like it, you just don't eat it, whether you're hungry or not! (That's a new one for me!) Your favorite food so far is BBQ pork, when you see it you start hyperventilating and then shovel it in your mouth once it's given to you.

You are SO close to walking, in fact some people would say you ARE. Three to four steps at a time is quite normal; you're just not cruising across the room yet. You also can say several words “more”, “all done”, “Dada”, “Mama”, “bye-bye”, “hi”, “kitty”, and of course “no”. It sounds more like “na” than no, but this is your favorite word. Try to give you a sip of your formula . . . Na na na! Shampoo your hair in the bath tub . . . Na na na! Take something out of your hand . . . Na na na! I feel pretty confident that we have another strong-willed child on our hands. In a way I am grateful because as long as that will can be shaped in the right direction, I think the Lord can use you in a great way!

Music is just about your favorite thing. You love toys that make noise. You love when anyone plays the piano; often you'll go over to the djembe drum and accompany while they play! The guitar is another frequent stop on your cruising rounds. You are VERY interested in all sorts of objects and particularly different textures. You love to open and close doors (especially on Abby's play kitchen) and put things in and out of containers. Often you become very focused on your activity for up to ten minutes or so. As long as you are surrounded by many different things to pick up and look at you are quite content. If we are in a less stimulating environment, you become bored and quite crabby. I set out four or five toddler toys on top of the toy box each morning (in the dining room – the center of activity for our home) so you can play with them all day long and still be in the middle of household activity.

Abby's Journal

2010-02-11T15:20:00.002-07:00

The long cold winter months haven't seemed so long at all! A lot of that is because of your enthusiasm for almost anything I can dream up for you to do. Sometimes I wonder where you learned such accommodating language. For example, “Would you like to stir the batter, Abby?” “No, thank you Mama, my arms are tired. I'll just stand and watch.” Or “How would you like to play with Play-doh for a little while?” “Oh, thank you Mama!You're so nicey-nice!”

Not to say you're perfect by any means – you're a pouter sometimes and we have an almost weekly clash when it's time to put away your clean laundry! It seems that is your primary battleground – you apparently just hate the job!

You and Isaac have been doing swimming lessons twice a week. I've been very impressed with how willing you are to jump in, put your face under and do everything the teacher requires. You tell me you don't like it, but you always go in and come out with a smile. I've also begun working with you on “reading” (actually letter recognition) regularly since you were requesting it so often. You can't bear to have Isaac too far ahead of you!

We have such fun together doing “preschool” each day! We've painted on foil, learned about different music styles, predicted whether various household powders would dissolve in water, and counted to 100. You even love doing workbooks!

Daddy often comments how much like me you are – a girly girl. You love dancing and dollies and like me you can't stand loud music. (You'll cover your ears and say “Please quiet down!) You've always got a story to tell, a costume on and a new name for yourself. It's truly precious.

We haven't done much “exciting” over the past month. Thankfully it doesn't take much to make you happy. All I have to do is take you to the thrift store, call it “girl time” and buy you a 25-cent purse and you're thrilled! We did have the Jacobs family over for dinner one night. You had such fun with their six-year-old Emma that you sobbed and sobbed when they left: “I just need a girl in our family!” When we're out and about you're always asking to buy pink baby booties or little dresses for “my baby sister”. I remind you that you don't have one and you insist that God needs to give you one! Ah, little Abby – I'd take a dozen of you!

Isaac's Journal

2010-02-10T15:34:00.003-07:00

Usually I find January to be a loooong slow month but this year, it wasn't! I think it's because you are getting so big that I can more easily find things to occupy you – games or crafts that as a toddler you didn't “get”. It's a little scary for me as a mommy to realize that even the slow months are speeding by!

For Christmas you got a tiny plastic guitar that you loved – it was “real” to you. Unfortunately, it didn't stand up to the demands of this household very well and the strings kept falling off! So you begged Daddy for a guitar. He even took you one day to Haggerty's Music Store to look at guitars and didn't find one that was small enough. Maybe a ukulele would serve the purpose? Then last week at the thrift store I discovered a tiny guitar for just $7.50. It's just the size for you and you love it! It does seem to frustrate you a bit that you can't just strum it and have it sound “right”. So I have been trying to teach you some easy chords. You also have been gradually picking out “Mary had a little lamb” on the piano all by yourself!

You and Abby have been doing swimming lessons twice a week at the YMCA. It's been a nice way for you to be active during this cold season. You're also signed up for soccer come spring and very excited about that! I sometimes wonder if maybe we should put you in gymnastics instead, since you've taught yourself to cartwheel and stand on your head (you've been front-flipping for a while).

“Preschool” has been so much fun – we've learned to identify orchestral instruments, made “plastic” out of milk and colored valentines for senior citizens. We're learning to add and subtract using manipulatives, write the alphabet, and READ of course! You're still reading mostly short vowel words but you've graduated to two syllables, so words like “rubbish” or “dentist”.

For how fast the month went, we really haven't done a lot of exciting stuff. There was the stock show where you rode the (super exciting to you!) mechanical bull and got mini-donuts. You and Daddy went ice fishing with a bunch of guys from church (no - you didn't catch anything!) And we've had lots of people over for supper – I think you had the most fun with Ben (9) and Daniel (4) Jacobs AND jamming with your new guitar when Uncle Greg came over. It's just been a good, quiet month, full of smiles and “I just like you so much Mom.” I just can't ask for more.

The best THINGS in life . . .

2010-01-13T14:08:00.002-07:00

. . . end up destroyed just like everything else.

When we had our kitchen fire, I failed to mention a certain irony: the kitchen area that burned was the very nicest part of our house. When we bought this house almost three years ago, Keith totally remodeled the kitchen before (and as) we moved in. The rest of the house has been painted and decorated, but certainly not overhauled like the kitchen was in 2007. But fire doesn't know and doesn't care, so it burned our new drywall, tile, cabinets and stove, leaving our ancient refrigerator untouched.

Yesterday just before suppertime, the kids and I were rear-ended while driving home from swimming lessons. Someone stopped in the middle of a busy road (I don't know why), so the car in front of me also had to stop as did I. The person driving an Escalade behind me didn't stop. He plowed into the back of our God-given-with-heated-seats Toyota Sienna minivan, mashing the back door in and propelling me into the car in front of me (who hit the person in front of her!). We are all fine, though I did end up going to the ER to get my neck checked. Of course, our other, older-and-lesser vehicles are fine.

You know what my primary thought has been (besides gratefulness for our safety)? I'm just so glad that our STUFF isn't really that nice! Because it's all going to be destroyed sooner or later and I'd rather not have any major investment in things that won't last! An inexpensive vehicle that goes, an inexpensive house that keeps me warm and thrift store clothes so I don't have to cry when the baby ruins my blouse.

I've been reading this book and doing lots of pondering. I want my treasure to truly be in heaven, because as a house fire and an accident have confirmed, even the nicest things of this life get ruined rather easily! But HOW to have treasure in heaven? I'm beginning to realize that it really has a lot to do with how we spend our money on earth. Our hearts are drawn to what we have invested in - God designed it to be that way!

Wanna know what I got for Christmas? Just what I asked for: a sponsored child. I'm praying for a little girl in India named Ruma and I'm praying that as our money goes to support her each month, our hearts will be transformed. You too?

Matthew's Journal

2010-01-01T20:23:00.003-07:00

You learned to crawl the day before Thanksgiving! Now you are FAST! You also can cruise around the furniture and stand unassisted for a few seconds. It is so fun to watch you spot something and then chase down what you want. You are also a growler – it's very hilarious because you'll growl one way when you're happy and another way when you're sad. Somehow you always know exactly what you want – if you spot something and I won't let you get to it then you pitch a little fit until you get what you want OR until something distracts you. You also think you want to drop your morning nap but can't quite make it to the afternoon one, so that's been a challenge as well.

Matthew is a very clingy boy! You like your mama and your daddy and you'll settle for Grammie or Papa but that's about it. We've attempted babysitters a couple of times in the past few months and you just scream the whole time. It can be rather frustrating, but normal for this age I know. I've taken to carrying you in the mei-tai a fair bit just to save my sanity. I'm glad you love to snuggle your Mama anyway – whenever your little head tucks in on my shoulder I remember why it's all so worth it. You say Mamamamamama all the time and I'm not exactly sure if that's my name or not, but I'd like to think so!

Right after I wrote last month about you waking up three times a night, you abruptly went down to waking only once a night. That makes me think maybe you were actually waking hungry, since the change in sleep patterns definitely coincided with you starting to really eat meals. But then we went to Minnesota for Christmas and your sleep deteriorated over those eleven nights so much that last night you spent the night nursing and cuddled up in bed with me so you wouldn't wake Grandpa Curt's whole household with your determined screaming.

You had your first Christmas – yay! You got to go into the Hills with us to cut down a Christmas tree, ride on my back as we rolled out sugar cookies, visit the lights display at Storybook Island, and play in the ribbons when we unwrapped presents. We had a fun, Christmas-y month together at home before leaving for Minnesota on the 19th.

I think our trip was a little overwhelming for you – so many new people all the time, and all of them wishing to hold you (though for most of them, their wishes did NOT come true!). If someone attempted to hold you, you'd take an incredulous look at their face and start crying for Mama. After being around your grandparents for five or six days you finally let them hold you for five or ten minutes at a time. Nevertheless, it was fun to have you meet and get pictures with lots of your loving relatives – they all thought you were wonderful.

We spent the first few days in a hotel with the Bittners – besides meeting everyone you got to go to the Mall of America and to a waterpark. You splashed around a bit, but the most fun was getting you to sleep in the mei-tai on my chest! Then it was to Grandpa Curt's house where you were quite happy during the days, crawling around and getting into everyone's Christmas presents. Guess what Mommy and Daddy gave you for Christmas? Isaac and Abby's old toys that have been stored away for a year or so! We figured you wouldn't mind and it's much more important to us to teach you what Christmas really means than it is for us to feel like we gave you everything you could ever want. Because the more babies I have the more I realize: babies just want to be loved. And you are!

Isaac's Journal

2009-12-31T20:17:00.000-07:00

What a very fun month we've had! Of course Christmas is always special but I love that you're really starting to get into the “Christmas spirit”. All month long you said, “It's Christmas! - just not Christmas day yet.” I set up an advent calendar with notes in each pocket telling what special activity we'd do for the day. We made candles and cookie dough mixes for gift baskets, acted out the Christmas story, picked out presents for Daddy and made our own wrapping paper for him, learned Christmas carols, made sugar cookies and read “The Grinch” and a Max Lucado Christmas book each so many times you nearly memorized them. We went into the Hills and cut down a beautiful Christmas tree – you helped Daddy with the big tree AND cut down your own tiny tree. We decorated your little tree with homemade paper garlands, strings of wooden beads and handmade clothespin angels.

You also picked out a Christmas present for me. Daddy took you shopping at the grocery store so there were some interesting choices. But as soon as you laid eyes on the wind chimes you knew that was what you wanted to buy me. Dad was not sure what I'd think, but my little Isaac has been on enough walks with me to know that I love wind chimes! Your thoughtful gift will be one of my most special possessions.

You're becoming more thoughtful and focused in other ways as well. Your nap is down to about every other day, so I've been having to come up with activities to keep you busy – and quiet. One time you protested when I insisted you sit at the table with your Gears toy . . . but then you were very pleased when you created a system that worked. You also drew a couple very good pictures: a T Rex and a bighorn sheep! Appropriately for the season, you made it through the early reader “Not a Bed” which is a book about the birth of Jesus told in short vowel words. You don't quite have the attention span to read it in one sitting yet, but I continue to be so pleased with your reading progress.
You've also taken to bargaining with Abby: “Abby, if you do my jobs for me I'll give you a candy.” One day you learned the hard way that you didn't get a candy too! Matthew is really starting to enjoy his big brother – you can make him crack up just by whipping your head around to look at him. You also like to hold him under the arms to move him away from mischief.

We're driving home from Minnesota now – we've been gone since the 19th. The first night we spent in Yankton with the Carlsons – you had fun playing Wii. Then we stayed in a hotel in the Twin Cities with Grandpa Daryl, Grandma B and the uncles plus Uncle Mickey and his family. We had lots of fun! One day we went to the Mall of America. You rode some crazy rides: the log ride with me and a roller coaster with Daddy. The second day we went to a huge indoor waterpark. Again you were all over the big slides and you kicked around the big pool (wearing a life jacket) like a pro. In the hotel pool one day you and daddy and the uncles got out of the hot tub, ran outdoors and rolled in the snow, then got back in the hot tub! You want to do everything the big guys do.

After the motel, we went to Grandpa Curt's house for non-stop family fun: playing Grandma Drewry's organ, playing Bingo (and winning!) at the Flanegan Christmas, sledding with the boys at the Swift Christmas. As always, you adored playing with Westley – lots of Nerf gun wars in addition to Wii and wrestling with Grandpa Curt. Grandpa Ed made a very nifty little tractor and trailer (powered by a drill!) that you drove around with Abby in tow. He also made you a special nutcracker that we get to keep. The night of the 27th you spent throwing up with Daddy in attendance (I had to stay with Matthew as he was not sleeping well) but thankfully it was only a short-duration flu.

As for the gifts, well, there were too many to mention. Daddy and I got you another set of the aforementioned Gears that we hope you'll enjoy. I tend not to go all out on presents – you have plenty of grandmas that do. And I really, really hope that as you grow your anticipation will be more for the advent of Christ that for the massive haul of presents. I love you, my boy, and I can't wait for another year of learning with you.

Abby's Journal

2009-12-30T20:12:00.001-07:00

What a very fun month we've had! Of course Christmas is always special but I love that you're really starting to get into the “Christmas spirit”. You loved the advent calendar I made with notes in each pocket telling what special activity we'd do for the day. We made candles and cookie dough mixes for gift baskets, acted out the Christmas story, picked out presents for Daddy and made our own wrapping paper for him, learned Christmas carols, made sugar cookies and read “The Grinch” and a Max Lucado Christmas book each so many times you nearly memorized them. We went into the Hills and cut down a beautiful Christmas tree – you did not seem to enjoy tromping around the woods, but alas, you're getting a bit big to be carried.

You're turning into quite the little pouter – an attitude I'm attempting to eradicate. It seems you love the opportunity for some drama when you don't get your way. But the drama can surface in some funny ways as well. Daddy: “I'm full of daddy-ness”. Abby: “Don't you daddy-ness me!” Daddy and you also get your snuggle-hug-and-kisses in almost every day. You love books and I often find you “reading” quietly to yourself on the couch. I also taught you to write the letter “A” and we're working on the rest of your name.

You are three! You were so excited about your birthday. Your specially-requested birthday dinner was a very gourmet chicken nuggets, french fries and pear slices and strawberry cake with raspberries on top. Grammie and Papa gave you a play kitchen! It is very cute and you are the perfect little cook, making breakfast or birthday cake or hamburgers for whoever will “eat” them. I also gave you a couple of my old ballet costumes and you LOVE getting all dressed up.

We're driving home from Minnesota now – we've been gone since the 19th. The first night we spent in Yankton with the Carlsons – you sadly spent almost the whole night coughing! Thankfully, the cough didn't linger as long as I expected, because next we stayed in a hotel in the Twin Cities with Grandpa Daryl, Grandma B and the uncles plus Uncle Mickey, Aunt Karlene and your girl cousins Emily and Alyssa. We had lots of fun! One day we went to the Mall of America. You got to ride the carousel, the balloon ride, and a little train. I also took you to the American Girl store and we loved looking at all of the dolls and accessories together. The second day we went to a huge indoor waterpark. You splashed around a bit and did lots of snuggling with Grandma B when you were warming up in your towel. You did go down a big tube slide with Daddy two times. It was fun to watch you with Emily – you got to decorate Christmas cookies with her and you liked to give her hugs.

After the motel, we went to Grandpa Curt's house for non-stop family fun: fingernail painting at Grandma Drewry's, silly games at the Flanegan Christmas, and Abby charming everyone in sight. All week you talked Grandma Kim's ear off, narrating your actions, narrating her actions and attempting to help with everything! It was fun to have you go to your grandparents more readily this year, and Grandpa Curt loved snuggling you. We went sledding a little bit but the snow was not very soft and you are sometimes not very tough! Grandpa Ed made a very nifty little tractor and trailer (powered by a drill!) that you got to ride in. He also made you a special nutcracker, it was delightful to sit in their cozy house while you tried to crack nuts! The night of the 27th you spent throwing up with Daddy in attendance (I had to stay with Matthew as he was not sleeping well) but thankfully it was only a short-duration flu.

As for the gifts, well, there were too many to mention. Daddy and I got you a big set of secondhand Duplos that we think you'll enjoy. I tend not to go all out on presents – you have plenty of grandmas that do. And I really, really hope that as you grow your anticipation will be more for the advent of Christ that for the massive haul of presents. I love my girly so much, and I pray often for the strength and wisdom to show you HIM who is the reason for everything.

Matthew's Journal

2009-11-15T14:34:00.000-07:00

I never dreamed I'd say this, but you're still waking two to three times at night and I barely even care. I'm so used to it now, that I just get up, walk across the hall to the office (where you sleep in the port-a-crib) and nurse you without ever fully waking up. I know you ought to be sleeping through the night, but I'm dreading and avoiding the cry-it-out treatment. But you're going to have to figure it out before you get to move downstairs with Isaac and share his newly-green room!

I really thought you'd be crawling by now but you're not quite there. You get up on all fours and rock and sometimes push yourself backwards. And you do manage to move a few feet or so, but you've never just crawled across the room. I guess I'm okay with that for a while – it makes my life easier! You're still such a snuggler too – you love to be held and to be up so you can see what's going on.

We've finally got you eating in the high chair at all three meals – sometimes you eat more, sometimes less. But you seem to like all manner of foods now, you just don't eat as much as I've come to expect from one of my kids. You really like hard things like Cheerios, but unfortunately I'd rather stick to mostly soft foods for now! I still supplement by nursing after each meal and before bed. (And during the night!)

Sometimes you'll just start laughing for no apparent reason, and then I'll realize how closely you've been watching everything going on around you. Because inevitably it will be Isaac doing a somersault across the room or Abby jumping off the couch or something else that I barely even noticed. You have a wonderful, bust-up laugh. I love it. You're pretty ticklish too.

Your hair is really coming in darker than I expected and you have a shock of it that sticks up in the middle of your head. You're in almost all twelve month clothes already – such a big boy! You love your daddy and you LOVE music. Sometimes you'll be fussy and all it takes is sitting you down at the piano or turning on the radio. Anytime you hear a rhythm you start bouncing to the beat. When I start singing “Kookaburra”, you keep your eyes glued to my face the entire song! (You have a definite preference for upbeat music.)

You've settled into a nice schedule – up at 7am and breakfast at 7:30. You take a morning nap from about 9-10am, then we usually go to the grocery store or library or something. We come home for lunch followed by another nap from about 1-3:30 or 1:30-4. Then we play and Daddy comes home for supper and bedtime is 8pm.

You are generally a happy guy except that you do HATE to be bored. Sometimes you'll be so fussy that I'll think you're getting sick, then suddenly we leave the house or go down to the playroom and you're a new man. It's like you really want new sights, new objects to look at, etc. You are VERY grabby and strong too, so it's hard to keep things out of your reach. Hmm, now that I think about it, maybe it's super nice that you're not crawling yet!

Abby's Journal

2009-11-14T14:06:00.003-07:00

I suppose it serves me right to have a daughter who wants to be all grown up just like I did as a child. You protest being called “cute” because “I'm grown-up. I'm twenty-one.” Sometimes you'll stroke my head nurturingly and say, “I'm your mother. You are my child.” The other day you were almost in tears as you told me, “I wanted to be born first so I could be bigger than Isaac!” You've always got a baby doll tucked in somewhere around the house – in the linen armoire among the towels and napkins, in a bed made from a toy box, or resting on your own bed.

You're starting to recognize more letters – maybe half of them now? - and we haven't even really worked on it. You're quite indignant that Isaac gets to stay up at naptime to work on phonics. “When do I get to do reading? I've also noticed you playing the piano more and doing a lot of unprompted counting of objects.

We've settled into a nice routine now that colder weather is upon us. You are up by 7am. You help me make breakfast, often manning the toaster or stirring the eggs. The whole family eats together at 7:30 and Daddy is out the door before 8am. Then you and Isaac go downstairs to get dressed and play in the playroom while I shower and feed Matthew. Next we brush our teeth and do “jobs”. Every day you are responsible for emptying all of the wastebaskets and unloading the tupperware, measuring cups and mixing bowls from the dishwasher. Each day there is one additional chore: Monday- sort laundry from your hamper, Tuesday- dust your bedroom, Wednesday- water the houseplant, Thursday- put up clean kitchen and bathroom towels, Friday- dust the piano.

Then we do preschool while Matthew naps. We cozy up on the couch with our books or gather around the table with a cup of hot chocolate. Every day we read a poem from an anthology, a Bible story or a Proverb, and a read aloud. Just in the last two months we've gone through James Herriot's animal stories, “Old Mother West Wind”, and now we're on “Winnie the Pooh”. Then we do a small activity of some sort: playing with math manipulatives, making candles, listening to different styles of music, practicing writing your name, or matching fallen leaves to their trees. It's delightful! Usually we take a little trip somewhere when Matthew wakes up: the grocery store, the library, a playdate or a walk. After lunch, you and Isaac each pick a story to read before naps.

When you wake up we have a little snack. We might play a game together or build block towers in the playroom. Often you watch a half-hour movie while I feed Matthew and make supper. Once Daddy's home for supper, you love to snuggle with him or play “up on his feet”. Before bed we always read more stories, sing a song, and pray together. And that's how our days go.

Grammie took you on a “date” to watch a ballet class (since you talk about wanting to be a ballet-girl) and out to supper. Since that day you have spent a lot of time twirling around the living room, imitating what you saw. You even sit down with your legs spread out and stretch your fingers to reach your toes or do plies while using the arm of the couch as a barre. Your current favorite book is, appropriately, “Angelina Ballerina”. Like Angelina, you tell me that you dance in your dreams.

You're full of cute sayings. One evening Daddy kept you kiddos home while I got out of the house for a couple of hours. Towards the end of that time, you told Daddy, “When will Mama be home? I just want to be with a GIRL!” Another time Daddy told you how much he loves you and you responded, “Yep. I'm pretty much an angel.” Which you meant literally since you had spent the whole day “flying” around the house and coming to me every few minutes to ask me to “fix my wings”.

Isaac's Journal

2009-11-13T21:44:00.002-07:00

Oh, Isaac, you're reading! Every weekday I let you “stay up late” at nap time and you and I snuggle on the couch to work on Alpha-Phonics together. So many times I'm tired and ready for a break and the last thing I want to do is teach reading. Then I step back and look at myself – I'm right where I've always dreamed of being. Teaching you to read is such a privilege and it's just downright thrilling to watch your excitement at “getting it”. And honestly you're getting it very readily. I only have to explain something once and you're off and running with it. Now you can read any short vowel word quite readily and often on sight - without even “sounding it out”.

I am in awe of the little man you're becoming. I hate to phrase things this way, but in a very silly “accounting” sense, you're becoming more of an asset than a liability. You are such a help around the house, you've really been playing nicely and taking leadership with your siblings, and you're even starting to figure out ways to serve and be kind on your own. For a long time I wondered if you would ever get past your whininess and rebellion, but I have been seeing such fruit and joy in you. It delights me more than you'll ever know (until you have your own children I suppose).

We've settled into a nice routine now that colder weather is upon us. You are up by 7am. You help me make breakfast or hang out with Daddy while he gets ready for work. The whole family eats together at 7:30 and Daddy is out the door before 8am. Then you and Abby go downstairs to get dressed and play in the playroom while I shower and feed Matthew. (Four months ago I couldn't trust you to play alone with Abby!) Next we brush our teeth and do “jobs”. Every day you are responsible for feeding and watering the cat as well as unloading the clean plates and bowls from the dishwasher. Each day there is one additional chore: Monday- sort laundry from your hamper, Tuesday- dust your bedroom, Wednesday- vacuum the basement, Thursday- clean the litter box, Friday- wipe down the bathroom.

Then we do preschool while Matthew naps. We cozy up on the couch with our books or gather around the table with a cup of hot chocolate. Every day we read a poem from an anthology, a Bible story or a Proverb, and a read aloud. Just in the last two months we've gone through James Herriot's animal stories, “Old Mother West Wind”, and now we're on “Winnie the Pooh”. Then we do a small activity of some sort: playing with math manipulatives, making candles, listening to different styles of music, practicing writing your name, or matching fallen leaves to their trees. It's delightful! Usually we take a little trip somewhere when Matthew wakes up: the grocery store, the library, a playdate or a walk. After lunch you're in charge of rinsing the lunch dishes. You and Abby each pick a story to read before naps. After Abby and Matthew are in bed, we work on phonics, then you take your nap. You still sleep four days out of five for two hours or so!

After naps we have a little snack. We might play a game together or build block towers in the playroom. Often you watch a half-hour movie while I feed Matthew and make supper. Once Daddy's home for supper, you love to wrestle with him or play music. Before bed we always read more stories, sing a song, and pray together. And that's how our days go.

I love being with you each day, Isaac. You are the “all-boy” I always wanted to have. The other day I heard an explosion. I jumped and ran to find you standing on the verge of tears next to a broken lightbulb. At first you professed to not know how it happened . . . but the Holy Spirit worked in your heart and you confessed that you poured water on the hot light bulb! Such a little experimenter, just like your daddy.

Matthew's Journal

2009-09-27T21:52:00.000-06:00

Fall is here! After August 10, the summer took on a decidedly different tone. That Monday morning I took you kiddos hiking in the Skyline wilderness area and then to Taco Bell for lunch. When we got home around 12:30, our house was black with smoke. It was a scary few minutes as I called for the kids to go back to the van and I contemplated going in to save the cat and the photos all the while dialing 911. We waited anxiously in the front yard for the fire trucks to arrive. They finally did – with just minutes to spare before the whole house would have been destroyed. As it was, only the stove, laundry basket and contents on the stove, and the cupboard above were burned. However, there was so much smoke and soot damage that we spent over a month living at Papa and Grammie's house while everything we owned was professionally cleaned!

You seemed to do fine with the change of scenery. However, midway through our time there you got your first ear infection. You started waking more and more frequently at night and crying loudly for long periods, refusing to nurse. It was very trying for me since I was aware of Papa and Grammie and Uncle Joe all trying to sleep throughout the house. And of course then you got used to being responded to instantaneously when you cried and that has made the transition back home rather interesting. I think you're finally getting back into the swing of sleep: though you still usually wake twice during the night at least you're going back to sleep much more easily.

We did lots of special things during the month away from home. Daddy was very busy working on replacing the windows and siding on our house (this was planned before the fire). So I really did try to make it like a mini-vacation for the rest of us: lots of long walks, trips to Sioux Park and Storybook Island and the climbing tree, wading in Rapid Creek. We went to Angostura Lake with Natalie and the cousins on what felt like the only truly hot day of summer (we only saw temps above 90 a couple of times!). We spent a morning swimming and playing at the Trimbles' house in Belle Fourche.

August 27- September 8 your uncles Paul and Kevin were here. They came to help Daddy with the siding. They had fun meeting you and trying to make you laugh. Paul, Kevin and Daddy had to stay at a motel since our house was still uninhabitable so we took advantage of the hotel's pool. You really loved being in the water. You love baths now too (it must have just been the infant bathtub that you hated). As soon as I put you in the water you start splashing and you don't even seem to care if it goes all over your face!

You are a very strong sitter now. It's so nice to be able to just plop you on the floor with some toys. You stay happy that way for quite a while. You're starting to rock forward onto your hands and sometimes you rock too far – onto your face! I've also figured out how to wear you on my back and you are rather fond of that. Your exersaucer is a good option for under ten minutes and you do pretty well in the stroller and car.

You make all kinds of noises now and the kids are always trying to interpret: “Matthew said Mama. He said hi!” and I just nod and smile because I don't think you've actually said a word yet. You are very taken with the kitty and you do seem to be able to communicate what you want pretty well – holding out your arms to be held or looking hard at what you want.

Food is still an issue. You are nursing much better, even occasionally with other people in the room. However, you will have nothing to do with baby food. I have started giving you bites of rice or banana or bread and you LOVE it! Your favorite so far was refried beans! So we may just skip the baby food altogether. You are refusing the sippy cup of formula also, so I may be nursing you full time until you're one. With the other kids I had cut down to twice-a-day nursing by seven months, so you're getting the red carpet treatment, I guess.

Your little dimples make my day. Your daddy makes your day and you can hardly stand to be held by me when he's in the room. Neither of the other kids was a daddy's baby at this age! I'm so happy you're ours. It's so fun to see yet another personality revealed and I pray often that you will know HIM.

Abby's Journal

2009-09-26T21:51:00.000-06:00

Fall is here! After August 10, the summer took on a decidedly different tone. That Monday morning I took you kiddos hiking in the Skyline wilderness area and then to Taco Bell for lunch. When we got home around 12:30, our house was black with smoke. It was a scary few minutes as I called for you kids to go back to the van and I contemplated going in to save the cat and the photos all the while dialing 911. We waited anxiously in the front yard for the fire trucks to arrive. They finally did – with just minutes to spare before the whole house would have been destroyed. As it was, only the stove, laundry basket and contents on the stove, and the cupboard above were burned. However, there was so much smoke and soot damage that we spent over a month living at Papa and Grammie's house while everything we owned was professionally cleaned!

You asked many, many times, “Why did our house have a fire?” or “Why did my swimming suit get all burned up?” I was a bit concerned that you would have a lot of fear surrounding the incident, but as the weeks went on the questions were less and you never even had difficulty sleeping, so I'm very thankful. You enjoyed being at Papa and Grammie's house. Different toys, different yard, and grandparents every day were a winning combination. You especially took to the Lincoln Logs, learning to build a tall “house” complete with roof!

We did lots of special things during that month. Daddy was very busy working on replacing the windows and siding on our house (this was planned before the fire). So I really did try to make it like a mini-vacation for the rest of us: lots of long walks, trips to Sioux Park and Storybook Island and the climbing tree, wading in Rapid Creek. We went to Angostura Lake with Natalie and the cousins on what felt like the only truly hot day of summer (we only saw temps above 90 a couple of times!). We also spent a morning swimming and playing at the Trimbles' house in Belle Fourche while Lydia and Gracie were there visiting from Iowa
.
August 27- September 8 your uncles Paul and Kevin were here. They came to help Daddy with the siding. You got a kick out of being around them, tickling and charming them. You helped me take lunch to them at the house everyday. Paul, Kevin and Daddy had to stay at a motel since our house was still uninhabitable so we took advantage of the hotel's pool and waterslide. You went down the waterslide with Mama and Daddy a few times – though you did specify that you wanted to go slowly.

You are always pretending. There's always someone else in the room with us, whether it's the sick giraffe Alacia (ah-lay-cee-ah), the cousin Olivia from Colorado or the friend Ewen who is going to the store with you. Somehow you have an inexhaustible supply of names and scenarios in your little mind! You've also been quite the Mama's girl the past few months. You always want to be doing what I'm doing and can hardly stand to even be in a different room! It's very charming and sweet most of the time, and somewhat annoying the rest of the time!

I got you your own hairbrush and you love to brush your hair and mine. You constantly ask when you will get to have a baby sister. You wrote the letter “A” unassisted. You are memorizing Bible verses set to song that I play in the van and you walk around singing half-correct versions. You shriek loudly whenever Isaac does something you deem unacceptable. You are often very weepy in the morning until I get some food in you. You like to kiss people's knees. You love to make ice cream or smoothies in the sandbox. You ask if we can go to the donut shop almost every day. You are tall for two and everyone thinks you are older.

You are delightful.

Isaac's Journal

2009-09-25T14:51:00.002-06:00

Fall is here! After August 10, the summer took on a decidedly different tone. That Monday morning I took you kiddos hiking in the Skyline wilderness area and then to Taco Bell for lunch. When we got home around 12:30, our house was black with smoke. It was a scary few minutes as I called for you kids to go back to the van and I contemplated going in to save the cat and the photos all the while dialing 911. We waited anxiously in the front yard for the fire trucks to arrive. They finally did – with just minutes to spare before the whole house would have been destroyed. As it was, only the stove, laundry basket and contents on the stove, and the cupboard above were burned. However, there was so much smoke and soot damage that we spent over a month living at Papa and Grammie's house while everything we owned was professionally cleaned!

You loved being at their house. I think it was mostly that there were always extra people around to listen to you talk . . . plus Grammie read you stories and Papa took you on bike rides. It all added up to more attention than Mama can give you at home while trying to run the house AND raise the kids – you thought you were on vacation!

We did lots of special things during that month. Daddy was very busy working on replacing the windows and siding on our house (this was planned before the fire). So I really did try to make it like a mini-vacation for the rest of us: lots of long walks (bike for you of course), trips to Sioux Park and Storybook Island and the climbing tree, wading in Rapid Creek. We went to Angostura Lake with Natalie and the cousins on what felt like the only truly hot day of summer (we only saw temps above 90 a couple of times!). We spent a morning swimming and playing at the Trimbles' house in Belle Fourche. Grammie took you bowling and out to lunch. Papa and Uncle Joe took you to a Mustang car show and out to supper.

August 27- September 8 your uncles Paul and Kevin were here. They came to help Daddy with the siding. You got a kick out of being around them and especially “helping” with the siding. You walked around with a measuring tape and a pen and wrote lists just like Daddy. Paul, Kevin and Daddy had to stay at a motel since our house was still uninhabitable and you got to sleep there with the big guys a couple of nights too. We also took advantage of the hotel's pool and waterslide. You are getting so brave in the water! You even float on your back with a noodle under your arms and kick across the pool.

Whenever you'd skip your nap at Grammie's I'd cave and let you watch a movie. I think you saw Beauty and the Beast six or seven times over that month. You would say, “Mom, I just love Beauty and the Beast.” Now at home you've figured out how to play some little phrase on the piano that comes from the movie. The first time you plucked those high tinkly notes you said, “Mom, that's from the part where Beauty . . .” and now you play it all the time. You and Dad were jamming one night at home and you started drumming and singing simultaneously, “I'm in the band . . . I'm in the ba – and.” Dad made up an accompaniment and you sang on key and it was really very exciting.

You learned to pump a swing at Sioux Park and now you often ask to go swing somewhere – it seems that you are really peaceful flying through the air and you often pump for ten minutes or more. When you're really happy, everyone knows it. Your face just splits with a smile that splits my heart and makes me love you more every time. You have the best smile. I find myself scheming ways to make that grin appear.

And now it's on to a school year of learning to read and maybe even to add and subtract. Your legs grow longer and you like shirts with no pictures and you start to ask me questions like “Did God make himself?” (He made everything else after all). I feel always three feet behind you as you charge ahead through life. I'm gathering the grins, the moments and memories into my heart so that I can remember one day when I have more time to ponder. My Isaac at four.

What I learned because my house was spared

2009-09-05T14:29:00.005-06:00

Almost four weeks ago, we had a kitchen fire that took out our stove, a laundry basket full of towels, the range hood, and the cabinet above the stove. The firemen hacked through the wall behind the stove to check for electrical problems, so that was gone too. The entire house smelled horribly of smoke and most everything was coated in a layer of black soot.

The night before the fire, I had gone to bed with my tummy in knots as I contemplated the mess Keith made as he replaced a bedroom window. How would I cope with the inconvenience as he moved on to replace the rest of the windows?

Less than twenty-four hours after my bedtime ponderings, my entire house was an inconvenient mess and I felt nothing but gratitude.

Sometimes I have to learn the hard way.

If the kids and I had gotten back from our Monday morning hike just three minutes later, the whole house would have been a loss. Instead, I can walk through my home and finger photo albums and the kids' special toys, mercifully spared.

The fire was technically my fault, since I must have bumped a knob when I set the basket of towels on the flat-top stove. But not a single accusatory word has passed my husband's lips. Instead, he has encouraged me, forgiven me, and helped me to understand that to him, "It's just stuff."

I could have needed to perform the necessary cleaning and repairs with three little kids in tow. Instead, I stop by our house daily to feed the cat and chat with the contractors replacing cabinets in the kitchen and say hi to the professional cleaning ladies who are scouring every single object we own, all courtesy of the insurance company.

We could have been "out on the streets" with no place to stay while our house was returned to a livable condition. But my parents have opened their home to us for nearly a month now. The kids are thriving in the familiar environment that is "Papa and Grammie's house" with the benefit of a big backyard and a playroom. And no "in-law" conflict to speak of - thank you Lord for my parents and husband who are truly sanctified saints.

The gifts that are my children and husband would have truly been enough had our house been taken. But it wasn't and now oddly I feel that I have too much. Life is really simple at the heart of it: a roof over our heads, even if it's not "ours". A couple of pairs of clothes. Food to fill our tummies. Lots of snuggles and kisses. Some invigorating fresh air and a few books to feed our minds. A precious Savior and His precious Word.

I have all of these wonderful simple things living here at my parent's house. And then there's still my whole house full of stuff across town. I don't deserve any of it. And frankly, I need very little. I keep thinking of all that could have been burned up if our home had been destroyed. I would have been sad to lose the photographs, of course. And my journals. But everything else could have been replaced. Not that we need it all anyway.

The thing is, one day all of my things will be burned up. They won't last. So I'm left with this odd tension between desiring to make our home a little piece of heaven on earth and the knowledge that it's so much more important to store my treasures in the heaven where I will spend eternity.

What does that look like? I used to think that it just meant that we ought to love most the things that will last. People, God's Word. But now I wonder if I've missed part of it. Doesn't the way I spend my money reflect what I truly love? Surely it's not wrong to buy myself an ice cream cone. But what if I'm spending money on myself everyday at a rate far outpacing the money I give to others? What does that say about my love for people? And what does it say about my love for God's Word, which commands that Christians care for the poor and condemns those who overlook their needs?

My heart keeps being drawn to the people who lack even the simple things. And I wonder that I can continue to indulge myself when I have far more than I need already.

I have a house after all.

This is the life . . .

2009-08-05T14:49:00.003-06:00

On Monday I picked raspberries.
Yesterday we picked buckets and buckets of cherries.
Today I will use the whey from my homemade yogurt to make pickles out of our homegrown cucumbers.

I get such a kick out of this!

Matthew's Journal

2009-08-03T15:40:00.000-06:00

This is such a fun phase of babyhood – so many smiles and giggles and none of the troubles that mobility brings! You often seem much more prescient than I would expect from a five-month-old – like you really are actually trying to tell me something with each little coo. And sometimes your tears seem almost calculated – you often will scream your head off until you're held and then everything is magically fine. Sometimes it's especially uncanny when you cry and cry while I hold you then I hand you off to Daddy and you're as happy as a clam. Could it be that you have such strong preferences already?

You officially rolled from tummy to back a week ago and you're nearly sitting up as well. I'm trying to get you to eat solids, but you hate the high chair and you really prefer real food to baby food. Sucking on a carrot stick or tasting ice cream? Yum yum. Baby food carrots? Not so much. You still give me a lot of trouble with breast feeding as well – the only way you will eat is if we are in a quiet, darkened room. That's really hard to achieve with two noisy siblings running around!

I think you think Isaac and Abby exist for your personal entertainment (they probably think the reverse is true). You watch them constantly and your laugh is never quicker than when one of them is playing “peek-a-boo” with you. Isaac is very tuned into you and always trying to calm you or make you laugh and Abby adores choosing your clothes and bringing me diapers.

Sometimes I call you “Mr Grumpy” because you are happy in any one activity for about ten minutes and then you want a change of scenery thank-you-very-much. I start running out of things to do with you most days by about noon! All I can do is hope that it's a sign of an active mind. You are having to learn a little patience too, though, since Mama is keeping up with THREE kids and that means taking turns.

You've gotten to try all sorts of fun things this summer: camping (you and me slept in the van) and hiking and picnics and parades and company and bike rides and the list goes on and on. Most of it you seem to care less about as long as you're being held and walked about so that your scenery is always varied.

You're still sleeping in your bassinet in our room since you're not sleeping through the night. Whoulda thunk it would be the third baby that would dispel my notions of having nighttime sleep figured out. My current theory is that you are simply hungry, since you eat very well in the night and during the day you simply refuse to eat if you are not actually hungry.

Anyway, I love you, little guy. Nuzzling my nose into your cheek and feeling your little hands cup my face is just about the most satisfying feeling in the world. Your smile and your little voice and your chunky thighs and your body pressed up against mine . . . I wish I could save them all forever. Yet grow you must . . . and do.

Abby's Journal

2009-08-02T14:55:00.000-06:00

You just barely mastered pedaling your tricycle when Isaac got a new bike and now you want his old one (plus training wheels). You can do it too! The technique is all there – it's just leg strength that needs some work. You and Isaac have fun riding around the patio – going to California or a motel or wherever suits your fancy. Grandpa Curt and Daddy built you a “fort” with sandbox last month and you truly love to play in the sand. It amazes me how absorbed you get, especially when you're alone. Your ability to focus will be a big asset as you get bigger!

“Let's check the garden, Mama” - you love munching green beans right off the bush, and our homegrown lettuce gets your approval as well. Every time you see me holding the watering can, you insist on watering “my little pot” of flowers. You're also game to help me in the kitchen anytime, including our new venture of homemade yogurt. You closed your eyes as you sampled like you saw me do even though I could tell you didn't like it in its unsweetened form!

I can barely sit down before you're next to me with a book in hand, “Can you read me a story, Mama?” And I can hardly ever bring myself to say no. You love stories – even just looking at picture books by yourself. You've also got such a vivid imagination – I came upon you one day playing with some invisible friend named “Ellie. Her brother died but she's getting a new one.” And your vocabulary and phrasing is sometimes pretty mature as a result of internalizing all of that language: “Oh, Mother, I would love to have a new sweater in the fall!”

“I just love Matthew so much!” You love having a baby brother. It seems you never tire of “getting him a diaper” or “bringing him a toy”. Last night I sat Matthew on my chest and nuzzled his tummy to make him laugh. You started imitating me and he laughed twice as hard when you did it! You also “feed baby Hope from my body” just like you see Mama do.

You've decided now to be a princess or an acrobat instead of a ballerina. Your definition of “princess” seems to have something to do with being a nurse, as whenever someone is hurt you run to their aid exclaiming, “I'm the princess!” Pigtails and ponytails are out – you often ask me to braid your hair and I do when I can spare the extra time.

Sometimes when you throw a tantrum or dissolve in tears, Daddy and I will have to remind each other “She's only two!” It seems you are mature beyond your years, and we often expect you to act four or five! The other day I told Isaac to take three more bites and he said, “But I already took a bite!” I replied, “Then how many more bites do you need to eat?” You jumped in quickly, “Two more bites!” Subtraction already, eh? You're delightful!

Isaac's Journal

2009-08-01T14:52:00.002-06:00

Summer is speeding along as it always does, and you are right in the thick of it. We're out and about all the time – summer street festivals, Storybook Island, Old MacDonald's Farm, Reptile Gardens, Sheridan Lake, camping (three times already!), visits from grandparents, sharing meals with friends and family two and three times a week . . . it doesn't get much better than this.

You did six weeks of swimming lessons (well, five, actually, since I accidentally missed the first week). Last year you hated getting your face wet and refused to put your head under water. You have really improved since now you take your teacher's advice and make “puffy cheeks” whenever you put your face in. You can back float for a few minutes and doggy paddle a few feet to the edge of the pool. Not bad for your first lessons! Your teacher graduated you to the next level and gave you a certificate for a free family swim at a Rapid City pool – we'll have to do that soon!

Papa found you a bigger bike so now you can actually pretty much keep up with Mom and Dad. We've taken a couple of family rides (Abby and Matthew ride in the trailer) and you've gone up to about four miles! Daddy also helped you discover the mountain bike jump course or “the bumpy hills” as you call it. Since first trying it about three weeks ago, you've probably been there eight times and according to Dad, you're starting to get some air! All I can think as I watch you is “What will he be wanting to try when he's twelve?”

You've also mastered standing on your head or hands (against a bed or wall), doing front flips off of the couch onto the cushioned floor, and reading short vowel words. Okay, so “mastery” might be a strong word, but we're working on it. How exciting for me to see you actually read! You think it's pretty fun too, but sounding out words is hard work and you lose interest after about ten minutes. Science is purely fun as far as you are concerned. We've done some informal experimentation this summer and you've particularly enjoyed magnetizing a pair of scissors and using up all of my vinegar as you repeatedly reacted acetic acid and sodium bicarbonate.

Grandpa Curt and Grandma Kim visited in June for Matthew's baptism. Grandpa and Daddy built you kids a “fort” while they were here, complete with a slide and sandbox underneath. You've also had fun helping with the garden – eating sugar snap peas off the vine and reluctantly carrying loads of kitchen trash to the compost pile. We spent the 4th of July in Belle Fourche with the Trimbles – you were in heaven playing with all those boys, swimming, picking strawberries, shooting fireworks, and watching a fun parade.

One thing I like about you is that you are really “all there”. Wherever you are, you usually don't think about being anywhere else – you put your whole self into interacting with whatever surrounds you at the moment. It's only changing venues that presents a problem - “I want to stay camping FOREVER!”

We've had some good talks about how Jesus really does want to clean up your heart and help you make right choices. There have been some truly difficult days when every command from Mama results in a “no” from Isaac. After discipline, you often think of every nasty thing in your little mind to say to your Mama. It's hard. Of course, Daddy need only blink at you before you change your course of action. But I pray almost hourly that you will know the cleansing grace of Jesus and that you will love Him more than anything.

Create, Don't Consume

2009-07-31T14:21:00.002-06:00

I know I never post anymore. I'm sincerely sorry. Would you accept this little piece (written for thriftyrapidcity.com) as a offering of contrition?

CREATE DON'T CONSUME

This morning was lovely. While still in my pajamas, I picked lettuce, green beans and sugar snap peas from our backyard garden. Then I laid the baby down for his nap and used the time to cook a big pot of brown rice, make a batch of yogurt, and cook some granola. We'll have blueberry muffins with our quiche for supper, so I mixed up the streusal topping and bagged the rice for the freezer while my daughter washed the freshly-picked lettuce and my son put away clean dishes. Not all mornings go so smoothly or are as productive, but I've discovered the joy of creation. For me, it really is more fun to eat lettuce I grew myself. I really would rather eat a homemade blueberry muffin, fresh from the oven, than a storebought one.

The principle is simple: create, don't consume. And it has a lot to do with living a thrifty lifestyle. How many of us work long days dying to get to the weekend just so we can spend our money on things we can't afford like gas for the boat or popcorn at the movies? We all need relaxing outlets in our lives, but if your favorite hobby or pasttime is breaking the bank, consider learning the joy of creation.

I love learning new homemaker-type skills. Making my own curtains, learning to garden, and cooking from scratch are truly enjoyable to me. In addition, all of these things add actual monetary value to our lives. Homemade curtains and homegrown lettuce really are much cheaper than the storebought alternatives! But maybe "homemaking" just isn't your thing. You can still add value to your life by finding a way to create in your spare time (instead of watching reruns or blowing money at a restaurant).

My sister Natalie doesn't love to cook. But she does love to do graphic design. And while she manages her home and her three children just fine, thank-you-very-much, she uses the time when they are asleep to work on projects for clients. She loves creating design products, people love her work, and she adds actual monetary value to the life of her family.

I tease my husband because he loves his field so much that he often spends his nights researching even more about chemical engineering. But by pursuing what he loves, he has made himself invaluable to his company and created a certain amount of job security that might not otherwise exist. It's not that we never sit still: my husband and I often read (usually non-fiction) for an hour or so each evening - but even that creates knowledge!

In the past, difficult economic circumstances drove our ancestors to new heights of creativity. They learned to find new uses for things, to make their own things, and to find enjoyment in the act of creation. Let's use these tough times to stimulate us to action! Maybe you love to knit but you shudder at the thought of baking your own bread - I'll barter with you! Or maybe you could cut your neighbor's hair in exchange for some of their homegrown tomatoes. Remember, necessity is the mother of invention, and that's not a bad thing at all.

She's in a better place

2009-07-02T15:12:00.002-06:00

Today would have been my Jewel's first birthday. I can see her, in my heart's eye, running ageless in the beautiful fields of heaven. It really is a better place, and she waits for me there. After I worship my Jesus for an eternity, I'll snuggle my Jewel for a second eternity. There will be all the time in the new world to know her then.

For now, I am left without her, sad, maybe, but grateful that God really does know best. As Matthew coos in my lap, I know that I could never have chosen between my Jewel and my Matthew. And in God's providence, I may now perhaps have them both for eternity.

And when I say "have them" I really mean that He would have them. My greatest desire is that God be richly known by my children and glorified in their lives. I am woefully inadequate as I attempt each day to introduce Him to them - all I can do is beg for grace, receive grace, drown in the tidal wave of undeserved grace that has been given to me.

Oh joy! to think that Jewel already knows Him more fully than I.

How did I get such a precious girl?

2009-06-09T13:37:00.000-06:00

"Mama, the rain is tickling my skin!"

Matthew's Journal

2009-06-02T15:15:00.001-06:00

At a Chinatown restaurant with Mama

You are three months old! Your neck is really strong – when I lay you on your tummy you can hold it all the way up. And you love to “stand” on my lap as I stabilize you so those legs are getting stronger too! I've switched from the sling to wearing a homemade Moby Wrap much of the time (easier on my back). I used to wear you facing me, but now you just want to see everything, so you face out! You love it – often I almost forget you're there because you are so content. Sometimes I look down and find you nodding off to sleep without so much as a peep.

You're starting to be more vocal, but it seems very intentional. You don't tend to waste your breath talking to the toys hanging from your bouncy seat, but if you know you've got someone's undivided attention, you coo away. When I look into your big blue eyes, your whole face lights up - your smile as wide as your face. You smile a lot but it is hard to get you to laugh – I think I've only heard you laugh three times. Kind of like me, I guess – I'm not much of a belly-laugher!

You have been giving me a bit of trouble with eating – I think it relates to your great desire to see what is going on around you. It is just too much to bear to face me while you're nursing because then you can't see! So you tend to eat a bare minimum then refuse (with screaming and arched back) my attempts to feed you a full meal. Pretty much the only way to get you to do more than snack is to wait until you're ravenously hungry – every four to four-and-a-half hours. So I do a little of both – basically whatever works on a given day. Sometimes you snack (if we're going to be heading out and I want to make sure you won't be hungry while we're gone) and sometimes we wait a while (if we're staying home). Sleeping is okay 7:30pm-6:30/7am with feedings at 10:30pm and around 4am. I think you're not able to sleep through the night yet because you frankly eat poorly during the day!

You got to go on your first vacation – Daddy took me to San Francisco for three days and of course you came along. I carried you in the Moby Wrap from Pier 39 to the Golden Gate Bridge and across it. You went to Chinatown, on a ferry, on a cable car, to see the seals, to the sourdough factory. And of course – on an airplane to get there. You did amazingly well sleeping everywhere from in my arms on the airplane to in the Moby Wrap about town to in the heavily padded bathtub at the hotel. While it wasn't quite the fifth anniversary get-away to Europe that your daddy had imagined, it was still a lovely break for me from everyday life (and your siblings!).

Isaac and Abby delight in making you smile – sometimes you smile right away when you see them! Isaac often tells me, “I like Baby Matthew SO MUCH!” Your eyes follow them all around the room – you like to have someone in sight all the time. Daddy is very good at calming you and sometimes he'll be late for work because he gets so captivated by talking to you! As for me, well, often my face starts to hurt because I'm smiling so hard back at you. And then I just tear up because I love you so very much.

Abby's Journal

2009-05-29T15:14:00.001-06:00

For a girl who likes trying on every shoe in sight, I can't keep shoes on your feet. Every time I send you outside I know that your shoes will be gone by the time I call you in. You're like me that way – you love feeling grass or dirt or sand between your toes. It can be downright humorous to watch you – barefoot and likely somewhat dirty, but wearing a dress and a crown, asking to be called “Princess Twinkle”. Oh, little Aba, you make my heart sing.

You and Isaac are the best of friends, but nothing frustrates him more than you electing to scrub potatoes with me instead of playing with him. You love to help and be “big”. I'll say, “Thank you, Abby, you were very helpful” or “You're getting so big, sweetie.” You never respond with a simple “yeah.” It's always “Yes, I was” or “Yes, I am.” You crack me up!

Your imagination amazes me. Daddy thinks you will be a story-writer because you already make up your own little dramas. Sometimes at the dinner table Daddy will ask you to tell a story and it usually goes something like this: “Once upon a time there was a little girl named Julianne and and and she she um she um lived in a palace and then one day she fell down and got ouchies and then she uh uh got a pink bandaid and that's the end.” You also act out your stories: “Mama, this blanky has my baby Dooty in it. I'm the nurse and then I grow up to be her mama too.” The imagination is so good that even Dooty didn't exist – you were simply holding a blanket!

You insist that you want to be a “ballet girl” when you grow up and you walk around the house spinning and jumping. We saw a preteen girl dance at the “Kid's Fair” talent show and ever since you've been copying her moves. Sometimes you put your feet on the table during supper and when we remind you to put them down, you insist, “I have to practice ballet!”

We've had a few more “testing” incidents – where you deliberately disobey, or throw a screaming fit when you don't get your way. I'm learning that your will is stronger than I thought – but that's probably a good thing! I also often see a repentant heart and a desire to snuggle surface right after these confrontations, so I really believe you are receiving what the Holy Spirit is teaching you.

I am so glad I have my little girl. Whether it's doing dishes while the “guys” do yardwork or shopping while they go backpacking, I'm glad to have a daughter and companion.

San Francisco

2009-05-24T21:07:00.004-06:00

Did I mention that my hubby took me to San Francisco earlier this month? He had to go for a conference and we had enough frequent flyer miles for my ticket so I hung out with him for three days before the conference. He's so good to me - he had to make me go (I felt bad leaving the kids AND asking my mom to watch them) but I'm glad he did. It was really fun! We obviously took Matthew since I'm not ready to wean him, and it's so weird how having just one wee baby can be such a vacation! Here are a few pictures.

Keith in Chinatown

Saturday morning Farmer's Market

Riding the streetcar

Getting ready to walk across the Golden Gate Bridge

Pier 39 (that mass on my stomach is Matthew in a homemade Moby Wrap)

Isaac's Journal

2009-05-21T15:38:00.002-06:00

What an exciting few weeks we've had! Most exciting of all: now you're four! I can't believe that it's already been four years since that Mother's Day when I first held my little son. Isaac at four is so BIG – somehow I thought four-year-olds were still little but you just seem so old. You love to laugh. I sometimes wish I were funnier so I could make you laugh more often, but I sure love hearing you and Daddy together. Between bodily functions and silly rhymes you two laugh together a lot!

You got lots of exciting presents for your birthday: a Slip-n-Slide, a backpack, a saxoflute (you had asked repeatedly for a “trumpet”). We had three celebrations: chocolate cupcakes with Papa and Grammie before Grammie left for Poland, pan”cakes” and bacon and family presents on your actual birthday, and then your first “friend's party” on May 9. I planned a camping theme, so we set up a balloon-filled tent at Canyon Lake Park, grilled hotdogs and made s'mores, and gave flashlights and trail snacks for favors. Your cousins came as well as three families from church with kids your age. It was fun and relaxed for Daddy and I since we invited the whole families, but it also made for a big party: seventeen kids of all ages!

You asked me to write about this in your journal: one lovely day we were eating popcorn for snack on the front porch. I found a dead bee and called you and Abby over to look at it. You held it as we examined it for a few minutes, then I reminded you both to “Finish your popcorn!” Without thinking, you popped that bee in your mouth and started munching. With a horrified expression you started spitting violently. After I helped you rinse and spit many times, you started laughing at the unexpected grossness of it!

Also this month Daddy and I went to San Francisco (we took Matthew too) for three days. You stayed with Papa and Grammie and had a marvelous time! From spending time with your favorite babysitters Rebecca and Hannah and going to the circus with your cousins to going out to eat and sleeping over at Grammie's house, you weren't so sure you wanted me to come back!

You got to go camping just last weekend. You've asked all winter to go camping and finally you and Daddy went. And it wasn't just camping – you actually backpacked in to a wilderness site and cooked over a camp stove since fires weren't allowed! What a tough little mountain man! It was a bit hard for me to let you go since I knew you'd be away from “civilization” and I worried a little. But you loved it SO much. You fell asleep in the car on the way home and Daddy carried you in to your bed. When you woke up later, you looked at me with a quivering lip and said, “Take me camping again RIGHT NOW!”

Sometimes I feel bad for you, my little guinea pig. So many of my parenting lessons are being learned in the thick of life with you and I make so many mistakes. I can feel you starting to pull away a bit – to become Daddy's boy instead of mine. I'm glad – I think it's healthy that you'd rather spend time with him. But it's just a bit sad for me and I often struggle to know how to hold your heart as you mature. I pray that God will cover my mistakes and grant you direct knowledge of Him – as the indirect example that I convey is so often lacking! May you know Him for yourself – this is my greatest prayer.

Summer

2009-05-19T13:29:00.003-06:00

$3 thrift store Slip-n-Slide = best investment of the year

In other news, I'm hoping that deer don't like strawberries. They already ate our pumpkin, melon, and squash shoots. We're going to fence the raised beds (tomatoes, peppers, cukes, sugar snap peas, bush beans, carrots and onions), but the strawberry patch is vulnerable.

Avodah

2009-05-12T13:37:00.002-06:00

During this season of busyness, an article about work as worship just might be enough to move me to tears.

Did you know He really receives it all when I offer it to Him? Pure encouragement - be sure to read this article.

Busy days

2009-05-07T15:45:00.002-06:00

I'm so glad Matthew was born at the end of February and not right about now. February/March are such slow months and I was able to really slow down and enjoy my newborn. May - not so much. In just the next couple of weeks I have a garden to plant, curtains to make for my mom's living room, and a yard sale to prepare and execute. On Saturday Isaac is having his first ever "friends" birthday party - we've invited four other families to join us at the park for a "camping" themed party complete with tent and s'mores. Keith's birthday is the following week. My brother is graduating in two weeks and I will have three sets of grandparents in town for the occasion. In addition to doing some baking for the graduation open house, I'm hoping to plan a luncheon for the ladies. And of course the normal cooking, laundry, cleaning, and Thrifty Rapid City posting that must happen week in and week out.

The weather is turning beautiful so all I want to do is be outside, be outside, be outside. And snuggle, snuggle, snuggle my kids. Can my baby really be about to turn four?

Matthew today

2009-04-24T14:55:00.002-06:00

Becoming Neglectful

2009-04-21T15:15:00.002-06:00

Guess who's sleeping through the night?

One of the things I love about my house is that I can clean it in under two hours. I just really don't have time for more than that, especially lately. One of the things I'm loving most about having three kids is that it's forcing me to reevaluate what I do: is it really worth the time? Today I decided that my once-a-week floor-mop wasn't worth the time, which cut my time spent housecleaning down to 1.5 hours. I swept and spot-cleaned and no one will be the wiser.

Yesterday I made the earth-shaking decision to stop folding my rags. Yes, I have always folded my rags up until now; I store them in my linen cupboard and I didn't want it to be messy. Okay, so I'm weird.

I also served hotdogs for supper last night. Well, Keith got a brat, but it definitely wasn't the gourmet spaghetti and meatballs I was planning. I just find staring into baby faces so mesmerizing that I'm having to cut some corners. And I couldn't resist a card game with my husband after the kids were in bed, so the grocery list went unlisted.

Because the one thing I refuse to neglect are my relationships with my Heavenly Father, my husband, and my children.

Gifts

2009-04-16T06:26:00.003-06:00

My treasure-list has been growing in my own journal, but it's been far too long since I've shared any of those gifts with you.

298. Tiny baby diapers and anticipation of the wee one coming.
299. Son's pure delight in a February hike.
300. Endless chatter from my little lady as we rested under pines.
301. Precious little ones- mine to cherish.
302. Ask and it will be given to you!
303. Fresh homemade blackberry cobbler.
304. Handscooped chocolate milkshake.
305. Slow-paced rainy day.
306. Impromptu lunch with an old friend.
307. Strength-reserves that are not my own.
308. Body preparing itself to deliver.
309. Sunshine after rain.
310. Chocolate Oreo Truffles, homemade with love for our friends.
311. Evening out, courtesy of my thoughtful husband.
312. Renewed strength to face a new day.
313. Round cheeks, sweet little nose, big blue eyes.
314. Family walk on a bright winter's day.
315. Daddy's little helper - "we" are fixing it!
316. Conctractions that bring me closer and closer to seeing my new little one.
317. Diapers and paper plates from family, friends and church family.
318. Extended snuggle sessions with my little ones.
319. Rocking my sweet two-year-old back to sleep.
320. Following my boy on an adventure as he just has to "show you something" up the hill.
321. Roasted potatoes, peppers, and asparagus with olive oil and balsalmic vinegar.
322. Overdue: new circumstance for trust.
323. Playing games with my kids and their cousins.
324. Mommy/daughter date - my little girl as excited as I!
325. Babby Matthew: whole, healthy, perfectly formed.
326. Sacrificial love and service from Mom and Husband.
327. Sleep - He will supply all I need.
328. Baby smiles.
329. Fresh air and warm sunshine after a couple of days in the hospital.
330. Surprise ice cream and a husband who insists on taking the time to eat it together.
331. Love rediscovered.
332. A long night of rest.
333. Freezer meals.
334. Sleeping baby head on my shoulder.
335. Long walk with my sister and seven kids under six - all delighted by the sunshine.
336. Juicy fresh pineapple.
337. Jesus died for my sins.
338. Easter week: advent candles, Play-doh mountain, and deliberate gospel-sharing with our kids.
339. Snow of winter giving way to green grass of spring.
340. Two-year-old dirtying three outfits in one day - because it's spring.
341. Hotdogs and brats on the grill
342. He was lifted up and He lifts me up!

Spring

2009-04-14T15:34:00.001-06:00

Yesterday afternoon/evening the kids played in the backyard for hours.

Today we had smoothies at the picnic table for lunch.

Is spring really here?

After four snowstorms in three weeks I'm afraid to hope.

But I'm starting to feel alive again.

Matthew's Journal

2009-04-13T13:57:00.001-06:00

How can you be almost six weeks old? It seems unreal. Yet the signs are there – your thighs are getting chubby, you're losing your hair . . . and you're smiling. What a precious gift each smile is – I just want to cuddle you all day until I happen to see one of those precious smiles. Your eyes light up and your mouth opens and I squeeze you tighter just knowing what a real gift you are.

I've been easing you into learning to fall asleep on your own - the sling allows me to cuddle you to sleep even as I cook supper or sort the laundry. I've enjoyed it, but the reality of my back is that I can't carry you all day. And you have done surprisingly well going to sleep in your own bed – when I do “let you cry” it is only for ten minutes at the most. You are still waking twice at night for feedings. I find that I don't even mind and I'm really in no hurry for you to sleep through the night. I do mind, however, your grunty noises as you fall back to sleep after that 5am feeding. So it may be time to move you away from our bedside.

You are a very good, predictable eater. You eat at almost exactly the same times every day, which is nice for the flow of our home. When you eat you make gulping noises that sound like you are drowning, but you keep coming back for more, so I guess it's okay. I like feeding you, because it's necessary cuddle time!

Daddy loves you too. You seem to calm to his voice and you love it when he plays the piano. I love it when he holds you because then you look extra small. Isaac is enthralled by you. He wants to hold you constantly and is often a bit smothering with his love. I try to protect you from getting squished AND protect him from feeling that he can't love on you. Abby is always happy to bring you diapers and toys and give you kisses. She is even more taken with her baby dolls now that you are born.

I'm so glad we have you. I just know now more than ever what a gift each baby is and I'm thrilled that I've truly been able to treasure each moment with you. Even when you're screaming (which is rare), I don't have the frustration that I used to. It's more like I feel the privilege of being the one who knows how to calm you down.

Isaac's Journal

2009-04-10T13:42:00.000-06:00

Now you're a big BIG brother! Just three years old and already you have two little siblings – such a big job and big adjustment for you. I am amazed at how well you have done since Matthew's birth. You love him dearly and want to hold him constantly. You tell me frequently, “Mom, I like Matthew SO MUCH. Babies are SO CUTE.” Interestingly, you still tend to be a bit smothering, which is what you did as a nineteen-month-old when Abby was born! I try not to tell you to back off too often, but newborns can only take so many tight squeezes and raspberries blown on their cheeks.

Weeks 2-5 following Matthew's birth seemed hard on you and I was struggling to understand why you were so unresponsive to me – seeming not to care what I said and seeming not to even want my affection. I think that you were struggling with some subconscious jealousy and acting out to get attention. I've been working much harder to keep your “cup” full (and praying for you like crazy!) and I've seen amazing results You seem engaged with life again, you're telling me that you love me unprompted, you're helping with a happy heart, you're playing nicely with Abby . . . I feel like I finally have my Isaac back!

We've had snow fall four times (including three blizzards) in the last two and a half weeks so that's meant a lot of home time. However, Daddy got several days off of work, so you and he have gotten some good time together. You shoveled and hiked to the store in the snow together and put together a wooden “bug box” for use this summer. We've also had fun building snowmen and going for snowboots-required type walks through the neighborhood. On a few nicer days between blizzards we've gone for long walks and you've ridden your bike really pretty far! You do a great job waiting for me to catch up at regular intervals.

I just “tested” you (without your knowledge) using a fun alphabet book from the library and discovered that you know all of your letter sounds except H (which you always forget for some reason) and Y (which you seem to think should make a W sound). I'm very excited! We are going to start working on phonics together whenever you wake up early from your nap (a more and more frequent occurrence). I think that you will love to read – you certainly love to be read to.

I've begun to notice that although you do not engage very much with toys, you do love to kick balls around the house or play catch or “tennis”. I'm wondering if you're going to be a bit of an athlete – at least in terms of loving to play. So I'm trying to reconcile myself now to the inevitable driving to practices and sitting at games. It's either that or try to force you into my own mold of sitting quietly and playing with your train set . . . but I wouldn't want to make you someone you're not.

Abby's Journal

2009-04-09T14:36:00.000-06:00

I can't think of anything sweeter than my Abby at two. You are the epitome of precious little girly-girl and I wish I could keep you this age forever! Often I see you with bouncy pigtails and dress up clothes, carrying a baby doll and singing a sweet made-up melody. “Mama, this is my baby. I am a mama too. Can I help you make supper?” What could be more precious??

You are a wonderful big sister as well. I think your favorite thing is picking out a new sleeper for Matthew to wear each day. You are very thoughtful of him and concerned when he cries, but I have not had to pry you off of him the way I do Isaac – you don't smother at all. I've noticed a slight uptick in disobedience but with just a little extra lovin' you seem to have made the transition without so much as a blip on the screen. Such a low maintenance girl – a blessing for Mama to be able to love on you so much without having to spend much time correcting.

Matthew is not ready for the crib yet, but we moved you into the toddler bed anyway. So far so good – you love it and have not had the slightest problem. Your room looks almost empty now and the boys room will be so full with a twin bed AND a crib! You also are nearly potty trained. You wear panties all the time except nap and nighttime, and you are very good about telling me when you need to go. Potty training has been almost effortless – meaning I didn't even decide to do it! You just gradually wanted to wear your panties more and more and you like to keep them dry!

You are really becoming a big girl in your own right. Sometimes you surprise me by the things you know – like being able to sing the ABC's. I didn't “teach” you that but I guess you heard Isaac and I often enough . . . You also know how to identify all of the letters in your name – A B Y and also O. One of your favorite words is “actually.” You're always saying things like, “Actually, I want to wear my pink pants this time.” You melt your daddy's heart constantly by saying, “Daddy, you're so strong.” And you always want me to sing “You are my sunshine” - which you are!

It's almost humorous to me that you are so taken with clothes and shoes because I almost never talk about my own clothing or appearance. It must be innate, somehow, since you LOVE matching clothes, changing your own or your dollies clothes, getting new clothes. I have a big tote full of shoes I've purchased at yard sales for you to grow into. One day you asked me if you could look through them. You started trying them on and had so much fun that I left the tote out for another day. It's been a month now and you've spent hours trying on those shoes.

I am so overjoyed at the spirit I sense in you – you tell me that you love Jesus and I believe you really do! Your other favorite song to sing together is “Nothing But the Blood of Jesus” - I sing the verses and you sing that refrain. It's beautiful.

Three kids

2009-04-03T15:18:00.004-06:00

Life with three kids is, well, busy. It seems that every spare moment I used to have is spent either nursing Matthew or investing extra time in my relationships with Isaac and Abby so they won't feel neglected. I made a special effort all last month to avoid working on anything extra so that I could just enjoy my new little guy. In many ways I accomplished that, but the time was still busy and it still went by way too quickly.

So this little spot has been neglected, along with a few other things, including my kitchen floor. And while it may seem like an oddity, a clean kitchen floor is more important to me than my blog. Reasonably clean surroundings keep me sane. So now that I just finished mopping my floor, I'm back. I guess we'll see how often I manage to check in from here on out. In the past I've found that I usually regain some sence of normalcy when the baby hits the eight week mark.

I'll be posting the kids' journal entries over the next couple of days. That should give you some feel for how we all are. I'll just say this: the third baby is the best yet - not because he is the best baby but because I'm at a point in motherhood where I can relax and enjoy. And I've heard that after you have three it's all the same . . . as in: what's one more?

My Matthew

2009-03-18T22:07:00.001-06:00

My Matthew. Two and a half weeks old already. Now that I have a third baby to hold, I truly know how quickly the newborn time goes by. It seems so unjust that now that I realize it, time goes even faster! I cuddle you every moment I can. I snuggle you to sleep in your sling. I kiss your little nose and marvel at the cuteness of your chin, your big blue eyes. I lean in close and nuzzle my head against yours, breathing in your newness, willing it to last.

It seems that I know you already. What a wonderful thing! With Isaac I was so distracted by the newness of motherhood that I didn't really know him for a while. With Abby I battled so much guilt (that she wasn't getting as much of my attention as Isaac had) that I didn't really know her for a while. With you, little guy, I look in your eyes and I just know you. It seems odd that I never had an inkling of your siblings' genders and wouldn't even venture a guess before the ultrasound yet we didn't even learn your gender until you were born but I still thought I knew. And I was right.

Maybe it's because I felt like I had to fight for you, especially at the beginning. From the day the doctor said that my pregnancy could not possibly be viable through the months of hormone shots and extra ultrasounds, you were on my mind constantly. I prayed for you and begged for your life more times than you can imagine. I even told God I didn't care what kind of disability you might have, as long as I could have you alive. And here you are, just perfect. Every time I look in your eyes, it's like seeing a promise. God is faithful. You were meant to be with us – even as your sister Jewel was not.

The night before you were born, your daddy took us all – me, Isaac, Abby – out to Outback for dinner. It was special because we had never – not once – taken the whole family to a nice restaurant. It felt so celebratory, like we were treasuring our last moments as a family of four, ready to be overtaken by new life, ready for you to come. The next morning, Saturday, Daddy made our traditional breakfast of chocolate chip waffles. After flipping through the newspaper, cleaning up the kitchen, and getting everyone dressed, Daddy and Isaac headed off to Walmart and Abby and I went to Safeway to hit the weekend-only sales.

Abby and I shared a yogurt smoothie and girlie gab as we made our way through the aisles. My contractions (which I'd been having off and on for weeks) began to be painful and I realized that they were relatively close together. A couple of times I even had to lean into the shopping cart for support as the wave came over me. I managed to finish shopping and head out the door, but I called your daddy and Grammie on the way home to let them know you would be here soon.
I put the groceries away and fixed Abby some lunch. I didn't eat anything because I knew it would inevitably come back up. Soon your dad and brother were home and the kids off to naps. Daddy and I watched an episode of “Arrested Development” online when I realized that contractions were five minutes apart. Grammie came over to stay with the kids and we were off to the hospital around two-thirty.

When we got to the hospital, I told the doctor it would be under two hours before you were born. The nurse was worried because she needed to get some antibiotic (for Group B strep) into me before you were born and that usually takes four hours. Then they had a terrible time finding a vein to insert the IV and ended up having to pump the medication into my arm on warp speed. It was painful – I doubt I could have lifted my arm, but I didn't bother trying.

The labor went well. It was almost predictable. I labored with Isaac eight hours, Abby seven hours, and you took only six hours. It was amazing to feel like I knew what was coming: pain, then pain too bad to speak or walk, then the pain that required breathing to get through it, then the pain that would cause vomiting – just once – and vocalization, then . . . you.

It's a boy! At 4:31pm. You were there and I hugged you right away. The nurses were all around cleaning you off as I held you, suctioning your mouth, but I barely noticed. Your daddy started calling people almost right away, telling them about our Matthew Everett. Our Gift of God – that's what Matthew means. Everett is for your Grandpa Daryl. His middle name is Everett. He's been such a special part of your Daddy's life and it is an honor for you to be named after him.

At the hospital I elected to stay two nights just so that you and I could have a little bit longer honeymoon. I loved having nothing to do but cuddle you and I knew that once we got home Isaac and Abby would demand their share of attention. So for two glorious days we had our little honeymoon. Now we're home, and siblings, laundry, and meals demand my attention. But I still find myself neglecting my chores to hold you when the others are asleep.

Isaac and Abby love you very much and tell you and everyone else so. Isaac wants to hold you constantly and hug you and Abby talks about how cute and little you are. You will grow up so loved. So far you've also been very accommodating when they want to hug and squeeze you. Overall you are very sweet and easygoing. Often you wake up a little rough, but once you're fully awake you are so sweet. And you love going to sleep in the sling. All I have to do is snuggle you in and you drop off almost immediately.

I am so glad you are part of our family, Matthew. I can't imagine us without you now.

Baby

2009-03-12T15:27:00.001-06:00

We are all doing great. Isaac and Abby are the best big brother and big sister ever! Matthew is a delight and we're truly glad to have him around.

Overdue

2009-02-27T13:24:00.002-07:00

Those of you who have been pregnant know what it is like to approach your due date. There is anticipation, expectation, and an ever present sense of waiting - at any time the moment will come that will change your life forever.

Now I'm overdue. I've never even made it to my due date before. I find myself thinking about things like induction and how induced labors have a higher rate of c-section and how we'd have to decide how long to wait before inducing. Yet I'm also filled with an indescribable gratefulness that God has given me a new circumstance in which to trust Him. If everything went the same every time with each of my labors, I would be grateful. But I would not have opportunity to experience God's faithfulness in a different situation.

My Bible reading today included Luke 21:34-36: "But take heed to yourselves, lest your hearts be weighed down with carousing, drunkenness, and cares of this life, and that Day come on you unexpectedly. For it will come as a snare on all those who dwell on the face of the whole earth. Watch therefore, and pray always, that you may be counted worthy to escape all these things that will come to pass, and to stand before the Son of Man."

The watching, waiting, expectation of my baby's birth is as natural as breathing right now. How I long to watch for my Savior that same way! I long for my heart to be filled with anticipation of His coming, yearning for His appearance, and prayers that He will indeed come quickly. How much greater is it to wait for Him than to wait for this baby. And yet my heart reveals my true priorities.

Oh, Lord fill me with anticipation at the thought of your eternal presence! Let me wait expectantly for the sight of your face!

Due date

2009-02-25T13:57:00.002-07:00

I'm due tomorrow, and both times before I've been ONE DAY EARLY!

Come on, baby, it's time.

Unintended humor

2009-02-24T18:56:00.003-07:00

Abby to her daddy this evening as I did the dishes:

"Daddy, will you change my diaper?"

Daddy thoughtfully whispers, "Go ask your mama."

Abby to her mama:

"Mama, can Daddy change my diaper?"

Refrain

2009-02-23T15:07:00.002-07:00

I can't stop singing this hymn.

I need Thee, O I need Thee;
Every hour I need Thee;
O bless me now, my Savior,
I come to Thee.

And somehow, things seem better just by my simple realization.

Saturday

2009-02-21T13:34:00.004-07:00

I definitely can't go into labor today. My husband is snowboarding, my mom has the stomach flu, and my dad is chaperoning a soccer trip. One of my friends just moved and another one is in the hospital having just had her own baby! That leaves, hmmm - my sister. She could take me to the hospital and . . . her husband would have to watch all five of our kids (all under five).

I guess I'd better just wait.

I wasn't sure what to do with the kids today since Keith is snowboarding. A big empty Saturday to fill and it's too cold to be outside for long. Finally I decided we'd visit the only thrift store in town that I hadn't yet been to. We looked around; I found a gift for my nephew and a bunch of unused greeting cards. I told the kids they could each pick something for a quarter. Isaac wanted an electric keyboard and Abby wanted every purse or doll she found. Ummm - I guess they learned that a quarter doesn't buy much.

Then we hit the jackpot - a large bag of Play-Doh accessories for $2! We love playing Play-Doh but all we had was the basic product plus a few cookie cutters. Now we have all sorts of fun new implements AND a good way to spend the rest of our Saturday. Thank you Lord!

Almost ready

2009-02-18T13:59:00.002-07:00

Right around the first of January I put together a list of things I wanted to accomplish before the baby was born (I'm due February 26!). My list included things like washing windows, updating photo albums, reorganizing the playroom and of course pulling the baby things out of the closet! Now, about one week from my due date, my list is complete except for one item:

Finish tiling kitchen backsplash

Wouldn't you know, the one project I've been working on the longest AND which is also the one project I most want to complete is also the one that I just haven't been able to finish.

However, I'm thankful for all I have completed and I've been reminded how much I really can accomplish (even beyond my normal tasks) when I put my mind to it. I'm going to enjoy doing nothing but cuddling with my kids for a month or so when this baby comes. Okay, so maybe I'll do the laundry too. (I already have my freezer stocked with meals thanks to ladies from church plus some doubling up I've been doing as I've cooked these past couple of months.) And I probaby won't go a whole month without cleaning the bathroom . . .

But I think I'm ready.

Giving love = Valentines truffles!

2009-02-17T13:42:00.002-07:00

The kids and I had fun making and delivering heart-shaped balloons and homemade truffles on Valentines Day. Though they got tired of driving around town for the deliveries (my kids aren't used to much car time!), I hope they learned a little bit about how to give love! The truffles were a hit - and super easy. Here's the recipe (with thanks to Sandy!).

8oz brick cream cheese, softened
18oz package Oreo cookies (I used off-brand!)
16oz chocolate (Wilton's candy melts worked better than chocolate chips)

Pulverize (great word, eh?) Oreo cookies in the food processor until ground very fine. Mix with cream cheese and shape into 1-inch balls. Refrigerate 30 minutes. Melt chocolate then use a spoon or toothpick to dip Oreo balls into melted chocolate. Place on wax paper until cooled. Package and give! This recipe made 42 truffles.

Isaac's Journal

2009-02-13T14:37:00.000-07:00

I think my boy has spring fever. For the first couple years of your life I couldn't figure out how you could be such a happy boy much of the time and yet a few months later you would be almost impossible to live with! Now I know: it's seasonal. Maybe you're also sensing imminent change with the baby about to arrive or maybe you're sensing Dad's stress at work but honestly I think you mostly just feel cooped up.

It was about forty-two degrees, sunny with no wind on Saturday so we went for a little hike. That was the happiest I'd seen you all month. You were totally engaged yet carefree, climbing up every hill and down every ditch you could find. Even later in the day you thanked your Daddy multiple times for taking you hiking. I'm so glad you love to be outdoors. I just can't wait until you're old enough that I can send you out by yourself regardless of the weather just to burn some energy.

That said, you have been finding some new indoor hobbies. You and Abby love to play “camping” complete with sleeping bags, a pretend fire pit, and toy plastic sheep for marshmallows. For some reason you actually love to fold sheets and do a pretty good job of it. You play piano a lot; I taught you the “names” of the keys (ABCDEFG). Whenever I get out the crayons for you to color, you spend the whole time with a pen writing letters and numbers.

We did a family fun night to Chuck E Cheese last month. You were so excited! You remembered it as a magical place ever since we were there almost a full year ago. It was interesting to watch you there – you really liked it but I think you were almost overstimulated by all the video games. You and Abby kept retreating to the playland area, which seemed to be more up your alley. We also went to the stock show where you got to visit the petting farm area and ride a mechanical bull. Your face was so hilarious to watch – you said you loved it but the whole time you were riding your eyes looked like they were ready to pop out of your head!

It's been a challenging month with my little guy. It's hard to hear you say unkind things to me when you're unhappy with decisions I make or discipline I must administer. You are often very stubborn and willful. But I remain committed to winning your heart – I know that once Christ has your devotion you will stubbornly cling to Him in a wonderful way

Abby's Journal

2009-02-12T13:54:00.001-07:00

It is so sweet to see how excited you are about the baby who is about to join our family. You often hug my tummy, kiss it, and say “hi, Baby,” in a darling sing-song voice. Sometimes you even “feed” my tummy with your baby bottles and cover my tummy with a blanket just because “the baby might be cold”. I am sure you are going to be a very good big sister. You are even happy to give your crib to the baby because it means that you will get a big girl bed soon!

It has been a pretty low-key month. January and February are always hard because the excitement of the holidays is over but it's still too cold to be outside much. We have had a couple of warmish streaks which we took full advantage of – going to the park and whatnot. You learned to “pedal” your tricycle so we tried letting you ride that on one walk, but unfortunately you were still way too slow to keep up so Mama ended up pushing you. I think you thought you were doing it though.

You are also sort-of potty training. Somehow you know enough to make yourself go nearly every time I set you on the toilet, but you don't manage to tell me when you need to go. You love your “big girl panties” but I'm not convinced that I want to be the one who has to remember to take you to the potty. Sure would be nice to have only one in diapers though . . .

I like having my girl around. Isaac loves playing with you too. Sometimes that creates conflict because you'd rather help me cook supper or wash dishes than do just about anything – but Isaac always wants you to play with him! It is amazing to watch you “deal” with those situations in an almost mature fashion: “Isaac, I don't want to play xyz right now but you can play dishes with me.”

An new defiant streak has surfaced so we've graduated from slapping your hand. It seems so odd to hear such a nasty “no!” come out of my sweet girl's mouth, but I suppose you have a sinful heart too! I have been blessed that after you are disciplined you often tell me “I don't want to sin!” and we have the opportunity to pray together and ask Jesus to make your heart clean. One day, out of the blue, you asked me, “Is sin brown or black?” - so I think you have the notion that it is something nasty or dirty. I told you about how Jesus can make our hearts as white as snow!

Daily devotions

2009-02-11T14:01:00.003-07:00

There's nothing quite like feeling overwhelmed before you even start the day. Too much to get done and yet how to do it? Every time I turned my back the children were squabbling. How to nurture when I am depleted? How to train and correct when I've done it a thousand times before?

Awake that half hour early - maybe I'd be better off sleeping? Yet I dig, grasp, beg for a morsel from my Father to get me through the day.

And He fed me.

Luke 11: 9-13
So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"

He loves me!

2009-02-07T09:04:00.000-07:00

Gifts

2009-02-06T15:02:00.002-07:00

How refreshing and wonderful it is to take time to reflect on all He has given! A few of my little treasures to share with you:

277. A bedsheet fort and popcorn snack
278. Pizza picnic on the living room floor
279. Boy inspired to try his own science experiments
280. Bouncy golden pigtails
281. Tousled towhead stroking my hair
282. Three-year-old getting to hear unborn sibling's heartbeat
283. Fresh air enjoyed on a brisk walk
284. Sparkling snow run-off in the gutters
285. Chipper squirrel perched on barn-red fence
286. Employment trials = opportunity to trust
287. Late night talks, prayers, and cuddles with my man.
288. Suffering with Christ in mind is no suffering at all - JOY!
289. Date night with gift certificates
290. Uninterrupted sleep
291. Warm sunshine and lunch on the porch in January
292. Sparkly, fluffy, crunchy, radiant white snow
293. A Savior who cared enough to heal a twelve-year-old girl
294. Laughter with friends
295. Tiny hand curled around mine
296. Simple special things: popcorn, grapes and cheese for supper!
297. Leaving behind us a trail of snow angels as we walk through the neighborhood

I'm loving right now . . .

2009-02-04T20:50:00.002-07:00

Good Earth Original Caffeine Free Tea.

A gift from my mom - sweet and cinnamon-spicy.

Kills the sweet-cravings I so often fight.

And sorry, but I'm not sharing it with the kids!

Hungry boy

2009-02-03T13:44:00.003-07:00

Can you believe that a three and a half year old boy could consume the following in fifteen minutes?

5 four-inch pancakes
2 sausage links
2 pieces of bacon
2 (approx) scrambled eggs

Denny's had free Grand Slam breakfasts available to everyone today from 6am-2pm. We went for lunch with my mom and sister. As soon as I cut up Isaac's pancakes they were gone.

Not sure how long I'll be able to keep the food bill low!

Thrifty or . . . not

2009-02-02T15:47:00.002-07:00

The kids and I had a free morning so we decided to check out the Black Hills Stock Show. I knew there was a little petting farm and I figured we could wander around the vendor booths collecting free pencils and stickers. I had a bit of cash in my wallet, figuring I would probably buy one fun snack for the three of us to split. Three dollars for a morning of fun seemed reasonable to me.

We petted the animals (twice), sampled ice cream, got stickers and coloring books for free, bought a bag of mini-donuts (yum), picked out our favorite quilts on display, rode the escalator and examined everything from truck engines to cowboy boots.

Our last stop before leaving was the Rodeo Hall. We sat on saddles and watched some eight or nine year old kids ride the mechanical bull. Isaac wanted to try it but I assumed he was too little. But I asked, just in case, and the operator said they could modify the ride to be less aggressive for small children. I had just told Isaac he could try it when the guy finished with "and it costs five dollars". Oops. I had assumed it was free - everything else at the stock show was! So now I had not enough money in my wallet and a very disappointed three-year-old.

The dude picked up that Isaac was distressed and let him ride anyway. Which was nice, but then I felt obligated to give him the $3.50 remaining in my wallet. So the cost of our outing doubled, and Isaac didn't even smile while he was riding the bull.

Moral of the story: ummm . . . don't assume the mechanical bull ride is free.

Sesame Chicken - Homemade and Healthy

2009-01-30T14:04:00.003-07:00

I've been making up more random recipes all the time. I just take mental inventory of what food is in the house and think of a direction to head with it. Maybe I'm finally becoming creative in some small way! Anyway, last night's dinner was pretty good - kind of like Sesame Chicken but pretty healthy.

3 uncooked chicken breasts
3 cups cooked brown rice
2 cups sliced carrots (steam these a bit if you don't like them crunchy)

Marinade:
1/4 cup low sodium soy sauce
1/4 cup dark molasses
1/8 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp ginger
1 T sesame seeds

Marinate chicken breasts in sauce for several hours. Butter a casserole dish; spoon in rice and carrots. Place chicken breasts on top and pour marinade over all. Bake covered at 350 for 1 hour.

Looking back . . . and ahead

2009-01-29T17:19:00.003-07:00

It's strange to be anticipating the birth of yet another child. When my first was born, I was nervous about being a mom, about all of the irreversible changes that would occur in our family. Would free time and date nights become a thing of the past? Would I have what it takes to really love my child?

With the second, the fears were different. I didn't know if I could love another child as much as my Isaac. I felt sad that he would no longer have my undivided attention and even guilty that the new baby would never have my undivided attention.

While I am far from an ideal mother, I at least now know that the irreversible changes that have occured in our family have definitely been for the better. While we do have some free time and occasional date nights, life is far richer when shared with little children. And I needn't have worried about the kids having my undivided attention. They don't need it anyway, and their love for each other is a much greater gift.

So I'm much more relaxed this third time around. I know I love kids, especially mine. I know they'll love each other. And I definitely know it'll be worth the struggles along the way.

Remind me to reread this when I'm sleep-deprived in a month or so.

A tale of desperation and woe

2009-01-27T13:36:00.003-07:00

Since we already have one boy and one girl, there was no practical reason to find out the gender of this baby (we have lots of supplies already!). So we decided that we will be surprised this time, just for fun.

Only we were wrong!

There is just one practical reason remaining for finding out the gender: it would allow us to get away with picking only one complete baby name instead of two (one boy and one girl)!

Agreeing on a name presents some problems. We named our son Isaac - the only boy's name in the book that we both liked. Abigail was easier to agree on; we were thankful when the ultrasound revealed that she was a girl so that we didn't have to come up with another boy's name!

So even though I have five or six boys names I dearly love, I gave in last night and made a massive list of 100 boys names that I think I could learn to like, hoping that somehow we can agree on one of those.

Pray for us. Our child's future depends on it.

Imaginative play and sibling friendship

2009-01-26T15:43:00.002-07:00

I just couldn't be more delighted with how much fun my kids have together. Isaac bemoans any separation from his sister and frequently tells her, "You know what, Abby? I just love you so much!"

This morning they couldn't wait to finish breakfast so they could play "airplane" together. They unloaded the linen closet onto the couch (blankets for their best animal and dolly friends) and hunkered down with books and binoculars as "pilots". I let them do this because both of them know how to fold and put away towels now.

After lunch the scene shifted to the playroom, where they went "camping". The sleeping bags were unrolled and they pretended to sleep at "night". My roaster became a fire pit and they even had a water cooler out to douse the blaze if necessary. Somehow I became involved in the role of monster, which required them to hide in the emptied closet.

Imagination is a wonderful thing. Having a built-in sibling/playmate makes it even better.

Five weeks and counting!

2009-01-23T14:34:00.003-07:00

Yesterday was lovely. The kids and I walked to the library. By that I mean that we actually all walked, even the two-year old. I felt so unencumbered without my stroller.

Things are getting easier - the kids play together and love each other. They are genuinely helpful. They (mostly) sleep predictably and well.

Must be time for a new baby.