Cutting tile (or not)

I think it's safe to say I did NOT miss a life-calling to be a tile cutter. I first started working on our kitchen backsplash in October but had to stop and order more tile to complete the project. The tile came in during November but the holidays made me put it off until this month. Now I am at the point where I must cut tile to fit in all of the nooks where full tiles do not fit.

At first I couldn't figure out how to put the bit in the Dremel. My dad did that for me. I did, thankfully, buy the right bit.

Then, I did a test run on a scrap piece and couldn't figure out how the silly bit could actually cut the tile. I also managed to take a chunk out of my fingernail. I'm thankful it was just the nail. I had to ask my husband for help that evening - turns out you come at the tile from the top instead of etching a nice crooked line on the front like I was doing. (Yes, I am the one who attempted a caulking project by squeezing the tube with my bare hands.)

I was ready to go at it once again, but the bit started wobbling. Every time I turned it on, it spun in bigger and bigger circles. Somehow I had the notion that that couldn't be quite right and could quite possibly be dangerous. Try as I might, I couldn't get the bit screwed in any tighter.

I had to wait and ask for help again. Finally today, the last warm day of this spring-like stretch, I was ready to finish once and for all - it's only ten 2"x6" tiles after all! I plug the Dremel in on the patio and turn it on. Nothing. Finally I determine that it's the outlet, not the tool, so I drag out the extention cord, plug it in the house, thread it out to the patio and attach it to the Dremel. Ahhh.

I cut another test tile, just to make sure I haven't lost my ever-so-refined touch. Right as I finish the test cut, the bit snags my glove and starts shaking it off of my hand ever so violently. I pull my hand out of the glove and watch it swing wildly around before it occurs to me to turn off the tool. My finger is numb, but uninjured where the Dremel impacted it. I am scared of the thing.

Finally I work up enough courage to try again. The Dremel won't start. I have no idea why. But I am giving up - I wasn't meant to be a tile cutter.

As much as my husband has on his plate right now, I am going to humble myself and beg for mercy. It will go well for him, I'm sure. Surely the tile-cutting mishaps belong to me alone.